Theology of the Body, Talk #11: A holy and spiritual meditation on the female body. Is there a healthy feminism this day and age? If so, what is that supposed to be like? What was God trying to communicate to the world when He created femininity? Is there a new way for me, as a man, to think about the female body and person without lusting, coveting, seeing her as a sex symbol or object? Is there a true way for me, as a woman, to think about my body, personhood, and my dignity?
Hi everyone! Sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to this blog about human sexuality in the Divine plan! As you may or may not recall, the last posting considered the dignity and vocation of women. In fact, the last posting took an in-depth look at a type of very unhealthy feminism which has unfortunately crept into our cultural mores on a multitude of levels in the past 50 years. Now, I would like to follow up after that posting and consider the positive form of “feminism” that has been given to all women by God, the Creator of women and womanhood. This form of healthy “feminism” has really always been around since the creation of the human person. Unfortunately, cultures, civilizations and men, by-in-large, have not recognized it. Today it really has a better name and is associated with “dignity.” The late Holy Father Pope John Paul II choose a wonderful title for this good kind of “feminism” inherent to all women calling it: “Mulieris Dignitatam” meaning,“the dignity of women.” This is something that doesn’t have to be earned in any way. It is something stamped right into the body of each woman and it was so from the beginning. So please stay tuned for all the talk about sex and love coming up. During the next immediate paragraph, please stay tuned for one public service announcement as well:
This is an essentially important time for a blog posting regarding the dignity and vocation of women for the reason that the Bishops of the United States recognize this week as “Vocations Awareness Week,” in the Catholic Church of North America. This emphasis on vocations is inspired by the end of the Christmas Season which concluded with the Solemnity of the Baptism of the Lord Jesus, Sunday, January 9, 2011. There, in the river Jordan, Jesus himself is Baptized by John and illuminated by the Father to His followers for His sacred mission and work for the world. It’s also the place in Scripture that marks the beginning of Jesus’ public ministry by clarifying His work of salvation and the Kingdom of God to everyone thence forth. So, of all the ways we could talk about “vocations,” I would like to choose this special way of giving honor to the dignity and vocation of women. (However, on a side note, if you feel like you are called to the priesthood or religious life, come and talk with me about that soon, continue to pray and have hope! If you feel called to the married or single life, please come and talk with me about that soon, continue to pray and have hope. Recall, also, that your first vocation was that of your Baptized life into the Trinity and you’re cleansing of Original Sin by the Holy Spirit. All of us are called to holiness, therefore, no matter what primary vocation we happen to eventually choose, with the help of God. This blog will therefore focus on our calling to holiness which should always precede and integrate into the rest of our Christian life, and eventually our choice to be married, enter a religious life, become ordained or remain single for the sake of the Kingdom of God.) Our Christian understanding of the word “vocation” (which comes from a Latin root meaning: “to call”) simply helps us human beings consider what God has and is calling us to in this life and the next. If you are a woman, you can be %100 sure that God has already called you to womanhood! If you are a man, you can likewise be %100 sure that God has already called you to manhood, in the fullest sense of the term.
So, let’s get right down to the nitty-gritty! You’re hear to read and learn about God’s diving plan for man and womanhood and, therefore, human sexuality which He has stamped directly into our bodies! Cool! By a close meditation on the human body, as male and female, as well as a close meditation on the communion of persons found in the marital act of sexual intercourse which consummates a marriage again and again each time a couple embraces in the conjugal act, and always remains open to the generation of other human life out of the total, faithful, fruitful and free self-giving love, proper only to married persons...we will now focus on womanhood. This time, however, instead of using the Pope’s Theology of the Body, we’ll use his later Apostolic Letter entitled: Mulieris Dignitatem, On the Dignity and Vocation of Women on the Occasion of the Marian Year, 1988. So, sex, love and womanhood… that’s what we’re going to talk about!
What is your response, reaction or experience of a woman? What happens to you when you see, talk to, listen to, shake hands with or communicate with a female? Well, right now the guys reading along are probably thinking one thing and the ladies are probably thinking something completely different. Guys, I imagine you might be thinking something typical like: “wow girls are pretty,” (or “hot” as many unfortunately attempt to express in contemporary unflattering terms) or “when I talk to girls I don’t know what to say because I like them so much and I get nervous,” or “is she single,” or “she’s too tall for me,” or “she’s too young / old for me,” or “I want to impress her,” or “I feel funny,” or “I like this,” or “I can’t understand women,” or “old women scare me,” or “little girls annoy me,” among other things. Ladies, I imagine and have been told that you will probably be responding to the above questions like this: “Wow, she was interesting… I wonder why she talks like that or where she got those shoes, she seems smart and funny. I wonder if I appear smart and funny to others?” Or, “ok, she’s annoying me… I’ve got to get out of here.” Or, “boy she talks too much for me,” or “wow, she was so eloquent,” or “she’s so much prettier than me,” among other things. These are more typical responses that naturally happen in us men and women when we experience womanhood or femininity. But, I’ve asked you the wrong questions really. The best question is this: What do you think God wanted to communicate to the world when he created females and gave us women?
Does anyone know the answer? Of course you do! You’re probably thinking the answer right now in your heart. Love. Love is the answer. God wanted to communicate love to the world by creating females and he chose womanhood, the Pope says, to actually be the gender in whom the “order of love takes first root.” (MD #29) So, what’s that? What is the “order of love” which takes “first root?”
Ok, let’s go back to the favorite spiritual exercises within these blogs: an intimate look at the human body as male and female (specifically the female body right now) and let’s have a spiritual meditation on her body and personhood. (A brief word to the guys reading along: Guys, unfortunately you and I have NOT been trained by this unhealthy culture to “reflect prayerfully,” or “meditate spiritually” on the female body. I realize that. So, say this prayer with me to the Holy Spirit and try to keep your thoughts and your heart “elevated” in the meditation. If you do not keep your thoughts and heart pure in the following meditation then the below experience will be lost for you because of the sad training you’ve been given by our culture to treat women as objects and to see them primarily as symbols of sex, arousal, lust and covetous. But, I have more faith in you than this culture and so does the Pope and so does Christ the Lord. Here’s the prayer: “Please come into my heart Holy Spirit, and stay there at least for a few moments, forever even. If there are things inside of me that objectivize women, lust for them in ways I should not, addictions, unholiness or impurity of any kind, please untwist my disordered desires and re-order my heart to be a man who, like Christ Himself, pours myself out in self-giving love for the sake of the other no matter the cost. Amen.”)
The female body and her person, if you look closely and see who she’s really intended to be by God, her Creator, is all about “receptivity.” The female body is created and designed to receive. Well, what is she supposed to receive? Her person is designed by God to receive His love, and this is similar to the man’s personhood. Both male and female are created in God’s image, the image of the Trinity who is Love Itself. The female body, never to be seen away from the light of her personhood, however, is designed by the Creator to receive two key gifts that are essentially different than the nature of the man’s body and both of these gifts have to do with “receptivity.” First she is created to receive the gift of the man himself, and his seed. This is the design of her body. Ladies, I think I’ve asked you this before, but did you ever look down in the shower and wonder to yourself, “what in the world is the point of all this?” gesturing to your body. A frank look at the design of the female body is all about, first, the receptivity of the man, his seed and your intimate joining together sexually. A man is not created to receive the seed of another man. A woman is not created to receive another woman sexually. This is impossible. It can, unfortunately be coerced in various unholy and unhealthy ways, as you all know. But, that kind of illicit sexual union can never bear fruit – such as the fruit of a child, the fruit of procreation. Fundamentally, the woman’s body is designed by the Creator to be “open” to receive the man’s seed in the sexual embrace (this “embrace” of which we have already described, has the nature of a complete self-gift in love properly expressed only by way of marriage). A woman “opens” to the man in the marital embrace and the man “goes out” and then, into the woman. (I hope you all are meditating prayerfully and purely on the reality of what I mean when I say, “a woman ‘opens’ and a man ‘goes out’ and then, into the woman.”) Now, having said this, we can all understand that once a little girl is born this type of sexual receptivity is not intended, of course. Her very body has to mature, as does her love of God and a man, if she is called to marriage, before she can “receive” his seed. When Eve was formed “out of man” she demonstrated instantly the type of receptivity God has created in the female body and person. Then, “the two became one flesh, they were fruitful and multiplied.” This was God’s establishment of marriage which he later raised to the dignity of a sacrament by Christ’s institution (Mt. 19; Mk 10). The Bible even uses the word “married” and “one flesh union” in referring to Adam and Eve in the second chapter of the very first book of the entire Bible (Gen 2:23-24). So, the first observation we can realize or see that a woman’s body is designed for by the Creator, is the receptivity of a man and his seed. This type of “reception” pertains to the marital embrace as seen in the light of the man’s body, each created for the other. What, then, is the second thing a female body is distinctly created by God to “receive” that a man cannot receive?
You guessed it… a baby in the womb! Men don’t have wombs. Men are not created with wombs, but women are. Women can receive a baby into their womb, based on the first gift from above, and then they are able to receive the second gift… pregnancy, gestation, fecundity, another human person, that is, inside of their body in the form a pre-born baby. So, these are the two fundamental ways that the female body, which clearly seems to be created in order to “receive,” helps us realize something very essential about what purpose(s) love is created by God to be all about.
What do you think God wanted to communicate to us by creating the female body / person? Since we already know that “love” is the answer let’s talk about that some more. Here’s what Pope John Paul II had to say about it:
“In God's eternal plan, woman is the one in whom the order of love in the created world of persons takes first root.” He goes on to say, “The calling of woman into existence at man's side as "a helper fit for him" (Gen 2:18) in the "unity of the two", provides the visible world of creatures with particular conditions so that "the love of God may be poured into the hearts" of the beings created in his image. When the author of the Letter to the Ephesians calls Christ "the Bridegroom" and the Church "the Bride", he indirectly confirms through this analogy the truth about woman as bride. The Bridegroom is the one who loves. The Bride is loved: it is she who receives love, in order to love in return…Rereading Genesis in light of the spousal symbol in the Letter to the Ephesians enables us to grasp a truth which seems to determine in an essential manner the question of women's dignity, and, subsequently, also the question of their vocation: the dignity of women is measured by the order of love which is essentially the order of justice and charity.58 . . . When we say that the woman is the one who receives love in order to love in return, this refers not only or above all to the specific spousal relationship of marriage. It means something more universal, based on the very fact of her being a woman within all the interpersonal relationships which, in the most varied ways, shape society and structure the interaction between all persons - men and women. In this broad and diversified context, a woman represents a particular value by the fact that she is a human person, and, at the same time, this particular person, by the fact of her femininity. This concerns each and every woman, independently of the cultural context in which she lives, and independently of her spiritual, psychological and physical characteristics, as for example, age, education, health, work, and whether she is married or single.” (Mulieris Dignitatem, #29)
Even if a woman remains unmarried she still teaches the world about the essential component of love that is “receptivity” which is stamped in the very context and form of her female body. She doesn’t have to marry or be married in order to teach us what love is. She just has to exist. With out women, then, we would not really have love, know love, understand God’s love or be able to communicate love as it’s intended: in the form of gift which necessarily includes the giving (done primarily by God) and the receiving (done primarily by us). What a great service to the whole world a woman and her body communicate to us!!! Men, instead as seeing the female body as an object let’s see her as she really is: our teacher of God’s love for us. Look again at her body as it was intended to be looked at and experienced. God gives us females so that “in the order of love in the created world of persons she takes first root,” to show us how to receive love. In this way, femininity leads, teaches, instructs, directs, and informs masculinity.
Ok, I hope that helps you all to consider and realize some deeper, spiritual truths about the meaning and purpose of the female body and person as God has created and intended her to be. If you’d like to read more just go on line to the Vatican web site and you can read all of Pope John Paul II’s, Mulieris Dignitatem, On the Dignity and Vocation of Women on the Occasion of the Marian Year, 1988. It can be found at: http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/apost_letters/documents/hf_jp-ii_apl_15081988_mulieris-dignitatem_en.html. I’ve only scratched the surface of the profound meaning and dignity of the female body and person. The Pope does a much more complete analysis, so please check it out sometime. Before we conclude I’d just like to say one more thing regarding the deadly sin of lust.
Men, please realize why I wanted to attempt to reflect spiritually on the female body and person. When you see or experience a female you’re attracted to, (especially after puberty, which is the time in which your sexual gametes are matured enough to be able to procreate) I encourage you not to allow your “attraction” to spill over into the vice of lusting after women and their bodies. Our attraction to the female body and person is designed by God to point us toward the reality of God. Our attraction to women is good and it comes from God. When we experience a beautiful woman, we’re supposed to think of God’s love for us, as His own Bride the People of God, the Church. Womanhood, then, is like a road map. God has intended her body to take us men unto Himself in our thoughts, our desires and in our attractions which then form and inform our actions. If you’re attracted to a beautiful woman… praise God and realize His love for you. Lust happens in us men, when we see the beauty or attraction as an end in itself and then attempt to fulfill some selfish end for ourselves that is disordered or sinful, ultimately taking us away from God’s real love. A lot of young men today are addicted to pornography, for example, a very sad and unfortunate moral evil that really trains men to become emasculated. “Emasculation” is a term that simply means the opposite of what men are really supposed to be – “authentically and truly manly.” Pornography and masturbation are places where we learn the exact opposite of manhood. Real manhood involves becoming more and more like The Man of all time and eternity Jesus Christ who poured Himself out in self-giving love for the sake of His Bride the Church even to the point of dying. That’s a powerful, manly, self-giving love. Pornography and masturbation are places where men (and women too) simply take for themselves and get caught up in the opposite of “self-giving.” There is also a movement in this culture, especially in college and beyond, to have sex with as many women as possible; to date only for the purpose of sex; to live together and co-habitate; to practice contraception inside or outside of marriage; as well as to become involved in sins such as prostitution (which is a severe “objectivization” of both womanhood and manhood). This is the real reason the Catholic Church teaches that all of these above disorders are gravely sinful – they simply are not loving acts, which include sincere and complete self-giving love. I wanted to say this because it can be a challenge for young people to think about and integrate a holy sexual desire into their lives (and into their spiritual lives) in our culture today.
Women are designed by God for so many truly beautiful reasons as a real expression of God, His Life and His Love. Their “dignity,” (coming from the Latin root word, “dignus” which means “worth”) is given to them by God. It’s nothing they have to work hard at to earn and the dignity of womanhood can never be taken from women by anything or anyone! Feminism came from a response in women who really felt as if they were not receiving what they deserved in time, cultures and civilizations and especially from men. As we realized in the last blog, there is a healthy and un-healthy feminism that we have to watch for today and this blog has attempted to focus on the healthy form of “feminism” the Pope called “Mulieris Dignitatem.” What is good for us to realize now, is that women don’t have to earn anything from anybody… because they’ve been created more worthy, beautiful, and communicative of God’s love than we’ve taken the time and holy energy to realize. So let’s take the time and holy energy to realize the purpose for which God has given the world the gift of womanhood.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Theology of the Body, Talk #10: A few words about “Feminism,” vs. the real dignity of women. What is the difference between a harmful feminism and the real dignity of womanhood according to the Theology of the Body and the Catholic Church’s teaching on the profound meaning of women?
We’re continuing our study and reflection of the late Holy Father, Pope John Paul II’s revolutionary teaching entitled: A Theology of the Body given in his Wednesday Audiences from the year 1979-1984. These Papal Audiences were really his first chosen teaching at length that focused on human sexuality, the meaning of sex and marriage, as well as man and womanhood. It’s good for us to reflect on why it was that JPII decided to spend so much time focusing on this topic at the beginning of his lengthy Pontificate during that time in human history. Today, we’ll take up another controversial topic: Feminism. What does the word, feminism mean? Is feminism healthy and good? What is the real teaching on the dignity of women and how can contemporary women live how they have been created to live without being “oppressed, second class citizens”?
In the questions above I used a lot of words like: citizens, oppressed, feminism, dignity and women. Please keep in mind that for different people these words carry different meanings. I’ll try and focus on the actual meanings of these words in order to help us better understand that in today’s society, there is a healthy feminism and an unhealthy feminism functioning in the minds and hearts of our women everywhere! Feminism is also functioning in the minds and hearts of our men as well. The healthy feminism can be called feminism but the better description for this type of feminism is: “Mulieris Dignitatam” which means, “the dignity of women;” whereas the unhealthy form of feminism has generally been called: gender equality feminism. Gender equality feminism is very dangerous and has been the leading cause of replacing the right to life of the unborn with so called “women’s rights,” thereby driving the legalization of abortion in our country. Abortion, as you know, is a profound moral evil. I hope to help give you some tools to be able to see this type of gender equality feminism functioning negatively in our culture, schools, books and media and even in our own families and Church communities so you can go against it and help return real dignity to our women everywhere. This, of course, starts with yourself and, as you’ll see, it has to happen for both men and women alike in our minds, hearts, thinking and action. Both men and women, that is, have to begin seeing women as the persons God has created them to be instead of thinking of women as “like” men in all things.
Now, you may be reading this blog right now wondering to yourself: “Am I a feminist?” How can you tell? Let’s take a simple look at the differences between a “healthy feminism” which JPII called: “Mulieris Dignitatam” meaning, “On the Dignity and Vocation of Women,” (the title of an Apostolic Letter he wrote to the world in 1988); and the unhealthy form of feminism better known as: gender equality feminism. Let’s talk first about the unhealthy form called, gender equality feminism.
Women’s rights first became justifiably recognized in the early part of the last century here in the U.S. when women fought and obtained the right to vote (was that in 1919?). Women became citizens, voters and then lawmakers, therefore. These are wonderful, good things. This time in our history continued to respect life in all its stages and even though women began to vote, as well as enter the workforce more and more, the rights of unborn babies and pregnant women remained protected. In the 1960’s, however, things changed. At this point, feminists began to disagree with one another. One group asserted that there are real differences between men and women such as biology, chemistry, anatomy and interests and that all of these differences must be respected while the fight for more “rights,” can continue with reverence to women and to the sanctity of human life, especially the unborn. (That’s the healthy, good group of feminists, by-the-way). The other group claimed that these real differences between men and women are oppressive social constructs and that more legislation and reform was necessary to dismantle those oppressive constructs. In this case, a woman’s pregnancy, for example, would not really be seen as something that would “slow her down” or cause her to have less energy than a man in the workplace, or even cause her to need more rest. For these gender equality feminists, the fact that women can become pregnant became a particularly oppressive obstacle to the advancement of women. Pregnancy became something that prevented women’s rise to the top of the corporate, educational, or political latter of advancement. (This is the unhealthy feminism, by-the-way.) If men are free from the “burden” of pregnancy, these women thought they too should be free from that “burden” in order to be considered “like” men, “equal” and having all the same rights. So, these feminists sought to advance the right to abortion which was fueled by the contraceptive mentality of the 1960’s, (free sex, freedom from pregnancy and freedom to abortion) as a fundamental right of women. (The contraceptive mentality is still a profound moral evil and threat to women, men and children today, as we have already learned: see Blog #6.) The right to abortion for these feminists was a right so fundamental that women, they claim, should have absolute control over their reproductive finality and also the absolute “control” over their lives. (Hopefully, you’re beginning to pick up on the extreme unhealthy nature of this thought pattern!) Only this “freedom” would entitle women to their rightful place on the playing field with men, these feminists claim. Then, in 1973 came the definitive Supreme Court Case: Roe v. Wade, which legalized abortion in our country. This was, and remains, such a scandal because the court had to do so much stretching to come up with something that appears no where in the constitution: the right to privacy and the decree that the conceptus (that’s a word which describes the very earliest form of life conceived in the womb – really in the fallopian tubes – of the mother directly after fertilization which is a conceived, yet unborn, human being) is not a person at all and therefore has no lawful rights. If a woman desired to abort her unborn “being” then she could do so legally.
So we’re beginning to look back and see that it used to be generous policy in the U.S.A. to grant women protection during their pregnancies by civil law and in the workplace. Policies that protected her job status even during the event of pregnancy, child birth and a leave of absence that would entitle her to take time off to be with her baby at the beginning of childbirth. These policies would ensure her job was stable when she returned. A pregnant woman is not disabled, and so these policies were aimed at the special circumstance of pregnancy and the needs associated with a pregnant woman. Today, however, with the situation of gender equality feminism (the type of feminism which believes that gender differences are social constructs that necessarily need to be reformed such as is the case in which the event of pregnancy - only possible for women to achieve - has caused the “social reform” of a right to terminate any pregnancy that acts as an “oppressive obstacle to the advancement of women” over and above the right to life) the protection of women and their unborn babies has diminished everywhere.
Here’s another important example which happened in legislation. In 1991 the U.S. Supreme Court heard a case entitled: Automobile Workers v. Johnson Controls. In this backwards situation the company of “Johnson Controls,” which manufactured automobile batteries, put into place restrictions for pregnant women in that workplace. The company attempted to ban pregnant women in places of high lead content for the protection of babies they carried in the womb. (The lead content in the air was not high enough to affect adult human beings but it was high enough to negatively affect unborn babies in the wombs of mothers who inhaled the air which allowed lead to enter the central nervous system.) The Supreme Court ruled this action unconstitutional. Therefore, pregnant women could keep their jobs even if it negatively affected the health of the unborn baby. On the surface one might think, “oh well, it’s good that women can keep their jobs.” On another level, we should be concerned when laws continue to forego the protection of the unborn, even when the situation has nothing to do with the direct killing of the unborn. In effect, Automobile Workers v. Johnson Controls bears lesser moral culpability for the reason that if a woman wants to protect her unborn baby, she will simply choose not to work where lead poisoning can affect her child in the womb. The point I’m getting at here is that now days, the unhealthy form of feminism has created a new world where pregnancy is seen as a burden and abortion as a right. The ultimate violation in human rights for our country, Roe v. Wade, made it legal to abort the unborn in the year 1973. Since 1973, unborn babies have had little to no human rights save some legislation that focuses more directly on the third trimester. It’s no wonder this 1991 case did not support the rights of the unborn babies at risk to lead poisoning in Johnson Controls. Without the protection of the unborn and pregnant women in our legislation, companies, employers and corporations have no incentives to protect pregnant women and their babies.
I hope this gives you an idea as to how gender equality feminism, a dangerous and unhealthy form of feminism, has crept into our lives, our legislation and our culture. I hope it challenges you to consider the truth of the human person, male and female as God created them to be. God did create women to bear children, among other wonderful things, yet He did not create men in this way. What is the “language of the body,” God is trying to communicate to us in this, the crown of His creation who are men and women, their differences and their union? This will be the starting point of our next blog in which we’ll take up the second part of the question: What is the healthy feminism that the late Holy Father Pope John Paul II entitled: "Mulieris Dignitatam” meaning, “On the Dignity and Vocation of Women”? (If you want to get a head start, please read his Apostolic Letter entitled, Mulieris Dignitatam, from 1988.)
We’re continuing our study and reflection of the late Holy Father, Pope John Paul II’s revolutionary teaching entitled: A Theology of the Body given in his Wednesday Audiences from the year 1979-1984. These Papal Audiences were really his first chosen teaching at length that focused on human sexuality, the meaning of sex and marriage, as well as man and womanhood. It’s good for us to reflect on why it was that JPII decided to spend so much time focusing on this topic at the beginning of his lengthy Pontificate during that time in human history. Today, we’ll take up another controversial topic: Feminism. What does the word, feminism mean? Is feminism healthy and good? What is the real teaching on the dignity of women and how can contemporary women live how they have been created to live without being “oppressed, second class citizens”?
In the questions above I used a lot of words like: citizens, oppressed, feminism, dignity and women. Please keep in mind that for different people these words carry different meanings. I’ll try and focus on the actual meanings of these words in order to help us better understand that in today’s society, there is a healthy feminism and an unhealthy feminism functioning in the minds and hearts of our women everywhere! Feminism is also functioning in the minds and hearts of our men as well. The healthy feminism can be called feminism but the better description for this type of feminism is: “Mulieris Dignitatam” which means, “the dignity of women;” whereas the unhealthy form of feminism has generally been called: gender equality feminism. Gender equality feminism is very dangerous and has been the leading cause of replacing the right to life of the unborn with so called “women’s rights,” thereby driving the legalization of abortion in our country. Abortion, as you know, is a profound moral evil. I hope to help give you some tools to be able to see this type of gender equality feminism functioning negatively in our culture, schools, books and media and even in our own families and Church communities so you can go against it and help return real dignity to our women everywhere. This, of course, starts with yourself and, as you’ll see, it has to happen for both men and women alike in our minds, hearts, thinking and action. Both men and women, that is, have to begin seeing women as the persons God has created them to be instead of thinking of women as “like” men in all things.
Now, you may be reading this blog right now wondering to yourself: “Am I a feminist?” How can you tell? Let’s take a simple look at the differences between a “healthy feminism” which JPII called: “Mulieris Dignitatam” meaning, “On the Dignity and Vocation of Women,” (the title of an Apostolic Letter he wrote to the world in 1988); and the unhealthy form of feminism better known as: gender equality feminism. Let’s talk first about the unhealthy form called, gender equality feminism.
Women’s rights first became justifiably recognized in the early part of the last century here in the U.S. when women fought and obtained the right to vote (was that in 1919?). Women became citizens, voters and then lawmakers, therefore. These are wonderful, good things. This time in our history continued to respect life in all its stages and even though women began to vote, as well as enter the workforce more and more, the rights of unborn babies and pregnant women remained protected. In the 1960’s, however, things changed. At this point, feminists began to disagree with one another. One group asserted that there are real differences between men and women such as biology, chemistry, anatomy and interests and that all of these differences must be respected while the fight for more “rights,” can continue with reverence to women and to the sanctity of human life, especially the unborn. (That’s the healthy, good group of feminists, by-the-way). The other group claimed that these real differences between men and women are oppressive social constructs and that more legislation and reform was necessary to dismantle those oppressive constructs. In this case, a woman’s pregnancy, for example, would not really be seen as something that would “slow her down” or cause her to have less energy than a man in the workplace, or even cause her to need more rest. For these gender equality feminists, the fact that women can become pregnant became a particularly oppressive obstacle to the advancement of women. Pregnancy became something that prevented women’s rise to the top of the corporate, educational, or political latter of advancement. (This is the unhealthy feminism, by-the-way.) If men are free from the “burden” of pregnancy, these women thought they too should be free from that “burden” in order to be considered “like” men, “equal” and having all the same rights. So, these feminists sought to advance the right to abortion which was fueled by the contraceptive mentality of the 1960’s, (free sex, freedom from pregnancy and freedom to abortion) as a fundamental right of women. (The contraceptive mentality is still a profound moral evil and threat to women, men and children today, as we have already learned: see Blog #6.) The right to abortion for these feminists was a right so fundamental that women, they claim, should have absolute control over their reproductive finality and also the absolute “control” over their lives. (Hopefully, you’re beginning to pick up on the extreme unhealthy nature of this thought pattern!) Only this “freedom” would entitle women to their rightful place on the playing field with men, these feminists claim. Then, in 1973 came the definitive Supreme Court Case: Roe v. Wade, which legalized abortion in our country. This was, and remains, such a scandal because the court had to do so much stretching to come up with something that appears no where in the constitution: the right to privacy and the decree that the conceptus (that’s a word which describes the very earliest form of life conceived in the womb – really in the fallopian tubes – of the mother directly after fertilization which is a conceived, yet unborn, human being) is not a person at all and therefore has no lawful rights. If a woman desired to abort her unborn “being” then she could do so legally.
So we’re beginning to look back and see that it used to be generous policy in the U.S.A. to grant women protection during their pregnancies by civil law and in the workplace. Policies that protected her job status even during the event of pregnancy, child birth and a leave of absence that would entitle her to take time off to be with her baby at the beginning of childbirth. These policies would ensure her job was stable when she returned. A pregnant woman is not disabled, and so these policies were aimed at the special circumstance of pregnancy and the needs associated with a pregnant woman. Today, however, with the situation of gender equality feminism (the type of feminism which believes that gender differences are social constructs that necessarily need to be reformed such as is the case in which the event of pregnancy - only possible for women to achieve - has caused the “social reform” of a right to terminate any pregnancy that acts as an “oppressive obstacle to the advancement of women” over and above the right to life) the protection of women and their unborn babies has diminished everywhere.
Here’s another important example which happened in legislation. In 1991 the U.S. Supreme Court heard a case entitled: Automobile Workers v. Johnson Controls. In this backwards situation the company of “Johnson Controls,” which manufactured automobile batteries, put into place restrictions for pregnant women in that workplace. The company attempted to ban pregnant women in places of high lead content for the protection of babies they carried in the womb. (The lead content in the air was not high enough to affect adult human beings but it was high enough to negatively affect unborn babies in the wombs of mothers who inhaled the air which allowed lead to enter the central nervous system.) The Supreme Court ruled this action unconstitutional. Therefore, pregnant women could keep their jobs even if it negatively affected the health of the unborn baby. On the surface one might think, “oh well, it’s good that women can keep their jobs.” On another level, we should be concerned when laws continue to forego the protection of the unborn, even when the situation has nothing to do with the direct killing of the unborn. In effect, Automobile Workers v. Johnson Controls bears lesser moral culpability for the reason that if a woman wants to protect her unborn baby, she will simply choose not to work where lead poisoning can affect her child in the womb. The point I’m getting at here is that now days, the unhealthy form of feminism has created a new world where pregnancy is seen as a burden and abortion as a right. The ultimate violation in human rights for our country, Roe v. Wade, made it legal to abort the unborn in the year 1973. Since 1973, unborn babies have had little to no human rights save some legislation that focuses more directly on the third trimester. It’s no wonder this 1991 case did not support the rights of the unborn babies at risk to lead poisoning in Johnson Controls. Without the protection of the unborn and pregnant women in our legislation, companies, employers and corporations have no incentives to protect pregnant women and their babies.
I hope this gives you an idea as to how gender equality feminism, a dangerous and unhealthy form of feminism, has crept into our lives, our legislation and our culture. I hope it challenges you to consider the truth of the human person, male and female as God created them to be. God did create women to bear children, among other wonderful things, yet He did not create men in this way. What is the “language of the body,” God is trying to communicate to us in this, the crown of His creation who are men and women, their differences and their union? This will be the starting point of our next blog in which we’ll take up the second part of the question: What is the healthy feminism that the late Holy Father Pope John Paul II entitled: "Mulieris Dignitatam” meaning, “On the Dignity and Vocation of Women”? (If you want to get a head start, please read his Apostolic Letter entitled, Mulieris Dignitatam, from 1988.)
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Theology of the Body, Talk #9: All these rules about sex seem to be oppressing instead of freedom giving. How can a bunch of rules make a person more free? Why doesn’t God just stay out of the bed-room and let me do whatever I want? Rules, rules, and more rules! How can the body communicate a truth? What is truth, anyway? Are there really true things which hold absolute for everyone? How does truth set the human person free?
If you are in college now, are planning to go to college, or have been to college anytime since the 1920’s, then this blog is for you!!! I am worried about secular colleges specifically. You know, the ones that profess their state allocated funding, mission and education. The colleges that exclude God and truth from their curriculum. Yikes. However, there are even a good number of the Catholic Colleges in the western world the USCCB have expressed concern for (that’s, “United States Conference of Catholic Bishops”). Why, what’s the big deal with college and truth?
I remember back home in Missouri, taking my entry level philosophy classes at “Missouri State University,” that not only did my professors support and encourage atheism and agnosticism, but they “professed” that there is no truth. How can that be? I wondered how, if there is not truth, that could be true? If there is not truth, I thought to myself, then that itself would be the truth which would make at least one true, absolute reality: the existence of a universal truth which, in this poor case of thinking, resided in the claim that there is not truth. Perhaps, then, there were more true things, I went on thinking to myself. The claim, “there is no truth,” is called self-refuting for the reason that it is not logical. If that's correct, then, there really is truth which would mean that there can’t . . . not be truth. Anyway, to make a long story short, this Theology of the Body blog will focus on a very powerful, yet false, claim that is being offered to you in our western culture today: Relativism. It’s important to address this false understanding of reality because it has everything to do with the truth of human sexuality and the truth of the human person. For example, as relativism wants to claim, if one “life-style” is true and good for you, then it may not be true and good for me. Everything is relative to a different point of view or perspective. So, any sexual morality is out the window and we should be the center and founder of our own sexual morals. What’s good for me, may not apply to you! Therefore, I can engage in un-chastity and call it healthy. God, in this way of thinking, quickly exits the bed-room and the sanctity of married life is not seen as sacred. Rules from God about the truth of our sexuality and the truth of the human person don’t support relativism. I wanted to mention the “college scene,” “college students” and “colleges” themselves for the reason that it was in college where I learned relativism and then, after asking lots and lots of hard questions, understood that relativism was a very attractive lie. Don’t be fooled college students. Our culture will dupe you if you let it. Let’s get started.
To those of you who may be disappointed that we won’t be talking about sex explicitly for at least another 700 words or so, just hang in there! This is a big part of the foundation that you’ll eventually have to allow the Holy Spirit to unlock within you to re-train your current modes of thinking which help you in the battle for sexual purity in this day and age. The late Pope John Paul II and our current Pope, Benedict XVI, spent and now spend much of their time speaking against relativism. If you want a crash course in this just look to the Papal Encyclicals: Veritatis Splendor, by Pope John Paul II which means, “The Splendor of Truth,” from 1993. Or read the newest Encyclical from Benedict XVI entitled: Caritas in Veritate, which means “Charity in Truth,” written in 2009. You can just click onto the Vatican web site to the “Holy Father” link if you’d like to do that at: http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/index.htm
Let’s look at the truth of the human person for now. We Catholics profess that 1) there is absolute truth and He is God 2) God has a true law for human persons that is good for us and which sets us free 3) there is a truth to the human person and 4) since there is a truth to the human person, founded in God, and specifically in the Person of Christ, this truth and law can be applied to our human sexuality to help set us free and which applies for each of us universally. The best way I have ever found to help people understand human sexuality in this way is to talk about some very basic principles of truth, laws, and human nature.
In created things there are natural limitations:
When it comes to morality, let’s face it! It’s tough to be good!!! It can be even tougher to make good choices regarding sex and our human sexuality especially when we have raging hormones, bad role models, poor cultural norms, a history and experience of sexual abuse, among other things! Sometimes we want to be good and other times we don’t want to be good at all. Maybe we can think about morality and sex in a new way today. Below is a simple way to think about truth, laws, people and yes, even sex!
In created things there are natural limitations. I, Benjamin, am limited in being who I am as Benjamin. I am not my wife, Alicia. I am not a bird, whale or a sky-scraper. So, I am limited. I am limited in being what I am and in not being what I am not. A chair is limited in being what it is too. Since a chair is a chair and not a car, chairs do not have engines, wheels or axels. Chairs are limited to being what they are. Cars and human beings are all limited. It is a universal truth that anything created has natural limitations. Can you think of something created which has no limitations?
What can we learn from thinking about and realizing something so simple? A chair is created by a carpenter and in the mind of the carpenter is the intention of what the chair will end up being. He says, “I want to make a chair so people can sit down, rock, and get comfortable.” If the carpenter wanted to make a car he would have another idea and intention. He would say, “I want to make a car so people can drive around and make it from one place to another easily.” In the mind of the creator is the intention and the limitation of what is being created. This can help us to understand our relationship with God, who is our Creator.
Since God creates human beings, He also creates our natural limitations. We human beings cannot fly, for example. We cannot breathe underwater or breathe fire out of our mouths. We human beings are limited in that we do not have flippers, and we are not capable of getting nutrition from engine oil or gasoline, for example. If we were to drink or eat engine oil or gasoline we would probably get very sick. Why? It is because we are not meant to ingest either of those things. Engine oil and gasoline are said not to be good for the inside of our bodies. However, these things are very good for the inside of our car engines. Likewise, since we do not have gills, it is said to be “not good” for us to attempt to breathe under water on our own. We cannot fly and so it is good that we do not try to jump from high places and attempt to fly. We know the truth of our limitations by observing ourselves and others. In learning the truth of ourselves as human beings and responding appropriately we act within our natural limitations. All of our natural limitations are given to us by our Creator just like the carpenter who creates the chair to be what it is and not what it is not.
Now, since we are human beings we have free will to choose between this or that. If we wanted to choose to brush our teeth with a chair, it would be very difficult and even ridiculous. Our teeth would not get clean. Instead, we use a toothbrush for cleaning our teeth and chairs to sit in. Of course, neither chairs nor toothbrushes can choose their actions. Only human beings can choose between this or that. We can even choose something other than what our instincts are inclined toward. We can choose, for example, not to eat even if we are hungry, not to eat meat even though we are carnivorous, not to speak even though we may want to say something. Since we human beings have free will we were created with the ability to choose.
Since we human beings have free will we have the task to choose between this or that every day and almost at every moment of our lives. We make these decisions based upon what we know is good for us and what we know is bad for us. When we act from our natural limitations we act in participation, through our free will, after we realize (by reason and by faith – the two faculties inside of us that help us to come to the knowledge of truth) what our intended reason for being is. But, how can we come to knowledge about what our intended reason for being is?
A chair is created and indented to be sat in; a toothbrush is created and intended to clean teeth; a car is created and intended for transportation. For what reason are human beings created and intended? We believe God has created us. But, for what reason?
(Caution: the most confusing paragraph is coming up now)
If we can come to realize the truth of that reason, the reason we are created, we can act in accordance with our intended reason for being which comes from our Creator. These kinds of actions are called, moral for the reason that a moral action is any action which brings us closer to our end goal which is the intended reason for being that comes from the mind of our creator. Action in accord with our limitations is said to be “freedom giving” instead of “freedom restricting,” for the reason that these choices are the best for us. Freedom, in fact, is the ability to choose the good. Freedom is NOT the ability to choose "this" or "that." On the contrary, "free will" it the ability to choose between "this" or "that." Freedom itself, however, functions different that free will. When, for example, a person chooses not to drink motor oil for survival they are said to have made a good choice. When a person chooses not to use another person as an object like in the case of pornography or non-marital sex and even in the case of contraception, a person is said to have made a good and freedom giving choice. These good choices are freedom giving for the reason that the more we human beings engage in them, the easier they become and the more attractive the "good" also becomes for us. In the beginning it is difficult to turn away from pornography or contraception, for example, unchastity, oral sex with a boyfriend or girlfriend, masturbation, etc. But, the more we choose to turn away from that morally bad choice, the more we are set free to make good choices. This is why St. Paul, for example, talks lots about our human nature and sins effects which keep us "enslaved." He says, "For I do not do the good I want; but I do the evil I do not want. . . So, then, I discover the principle that when I want to do right, evil is at hand. For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self, but I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members." (Romans 7:19; 21-24) Of course, I still haven’t answered the question from above: For what reason are human beings created?
For what reason are human beings created?
Happiness, or Beatitude is the answer. Human beings are created for happiness which Jesus calls “Beatitude” in the Gospels. (Mt. 5:3-12) Happiness, or Beatitude, in its complete form is total union with God. This, we know, happens in heaven. It begins to happen for us in this life then happens in totality when we make it to Heaven. Human beings, then, are created for Heaven.
Persons are created, designed and intended for Heaven which our total happiness and union with God.
In order to be fully happy in heaven, then, we have to realize our created limits and act from them accordingly, since free will chooses “this” or “that” action. This type of action is the action of “morality.”
MORALITY, THEN, HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HAPPINESS!!!
Since morality has everything to do with the truth of the human person, and helping us become happy by not making “unhappy” or bad choices, so too does sexual morality help to set us free for a life of happiness. Happiness, truth and sex all go together since we are people. That’s God’s design. But please, don’t just think of these principles when it comes to a Theology of the Body and the truth of human love and sex in the divine plan. Think of these principles and apply them to your philosophy professors who might teach that there is no truth or that morality is different for everyone. God created us for a purpose and we have the ability to act in accord with our God-given purpose in freedom or not. Sex, ultimately, this great gift of God, with all the rules we’ve been talking about throughout this lengthy blog, has the ability to cause and increase our happiness and freedom as an experience, a foretaste, of heaven when we choose to act from God’s design which is founded in the sacrament of marriage. God wants our best good. He doesn’t want to oppress us or restrict us with a bunch of rules. He wants to set us free to love as we’re created to love, with our bodies and with our sexuality. All the rules the Catholic Church teaches about sexual morality are there for our good, not our oppression. There is truth and the truth will set us free. (John 8:32; 14:6)
Ok everyone, sorry I failed to talk exceedingly about sexually explicit teachings during this blog. That was a lot of technical language. With God’s help, I decided we should take a look at a very “deadly” root cause of the poor understanding our culture is offering in regard to truth and the human person which is called: relativity. It’s out there in soooooooooooooooooo many patterns of thought. It effects this current “culture of death,” and feeds our youth (me included) a number of lies about our God given sexuality. By taking a closer look at the roots of relativism I hope you will be able to see with new eyes when it’s effecting you in thought, word or deed and especially when it effects your human sexuality.
If you are in college now, are planning to go to college, or have been to college anytime since the 1920’s, then this blog is for you!!! I am worried about secular colleges specifically. You know, the ones that profess their state allocated funding, mission and education. The colleges that exclude God and truth from their curriculum. Yikes. However, there are even a good number of the Catholic Colleges in the western world the USCCB have expressed concern for (that’s, “United States Conference of Catholic Bishops”). Why, what’s the big deal with college and truth?
I remember back home in Missouri, taking my entry level philosophy classes at “Missouri State University,” that not only did my professors support and encourage atheism and agnosticism, but they “professed” that there is no truth. How can that be? I wondered how, if there is not truth, that could be true? If there is not truth, I thought to myself, then that itself would be the truth which would make at least one true, absolute reality: the existence of a universal truth which, in this poor case of thinking, resided in the claim that there is not truth. Perhaps, then, there were more true things, I went on thinking to myself. The claim, “there is no truth,” is called self-refuting for the reason that it is not logical. If that's correct, then, there really is truth which would mean that there can’t . . . not be truth. Anyway, to make a long story short, this Theology of the Body blog will focus on a very powerful, yet false, claim that is being offered to you in our western culture today: Relativism. It’s important to address this false understanding of reality because it has everything to do with the truth of human sexuality and the truth of the human person. For example, as relativism wants to claim, if one “life-style” is true and good for you, then it may not be true and good for me. Everything is relative to a different point of view or perspective. So, any sexual morality is out the window and we should be the center and founder of our own sexual morals. What’s good for me, may not apply to you! Therefore, I can engage in un-chastity and call it healthy. God, in this way of thinking, quickly exits the bed-room and the sanctity of married life is not seen as sacred. Rules from God about the truth of our sexuality and the truth of the human person don’t support relativism. I wanted to mention the “college scene,” “college students” and “colleges” themselves for the reason that it was in college where I learned relativism and then, after asking lots and lots of hard questions, understood that relativism was a very attractive lie. Don’t be fooled college students. Our culture will dupe you if you let it. Let’s get started.
To those of you who may be disappointed that we won’t be talking about sex explicitly for at least another 700 words or so, just hang in there! This is a big part of the foundation that you’ll eventually have to allow the Holy Spirit to unlock within you to re-train your current modes of thinking which help you in the battle for sexual purity in this day and age. The late Pope John Paul II and our current Pope, Benedict XVI, spent and now spend much of their time speaking against relativism. If you want a crash course in this just look to the Papal Encyclicals: Veritatis Splendor, by Pope John Paul II which means, “The Splendor of Truth,” from 1993. Or read the newest Encyclical from Benedict XVI entitled: Caritas in Veritate, which means “Charity in Truth,” written in 2009. You can just click onto the Vatican web site to the “Holy Father” link if you’d like to do that at: http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/john_paul_ii/index.htm
Let’s look at the truth of the human person for now. We Catholics profess that 1) there is absolute truth and He is God 2) God has a true law for human persons that is good for us and which sets us free 3) there is a truth to the human person and 4) since there is a truth to the human person, founded in God, and specifically in the Person of Christ, this truth and law can be applied to our human sexuality to help set us free and which applies for each of us universally. The best way I have ever found to help people understand human sexuality in this way is to talk about some very basic principles of truth, laws, and human nature.
In created things there are natural limitations:
When it comes to morality, let’s face it! It’s tough to be good!!! It can be even tougher to make good choices regarding sex and our human sexuality especially when we have raging hormones, bad role models, poor cultural norms, a history and experience of sexual abuse, among other things! Sometimes we want to be good and other times we don’t want to be good at all. Maybe we can think about morality and sex in a new way today. Below is a simple way to think about truth, laws, people and yes, even sex!
In created things there are natural limitations. I, Benjamin, am limited in being who I am as Benjamin. I am not my wife, Alicia. I am not a bird, whale or a sky-scraper. So, I am limited. I am limited in being what I am and in not being what I am not. A chair is limited in being what it is too. Since a chair is a chair and not a car, chairs do not have engines, wheels or axels. Chairs are limited to being what they are. Cars and human beings are all limited. It is a universal truth that anything created has natural limitations. Can you think of something created which has no limitations?
What can we learn from thinking about and realizing something so simple? A chair is created by a carpenter and in the mind of the carpenter is the intention of what the chair will end up being. He says, “I want to make a chair so people can sit down, rock, and get comfortable.” If the carpenter wanted to make a car he would have another idea and intention. He would say, “I want to make a car so people can drive around and make it from one place to another easily.” In the mind of the creator is the intention and the limitation of what is being created. This can help us to understand our relationship with God, who is our Creator.
Since God creates human beings, He also creates our natural limitations. We human beings cannot fly, for example. We cannot breathe underwater or breathe fire out of our mouths. We human beings are limited in that we do not have flippers, and we are not capable of getting nutrition from engine oil or gasoline, for example. If we were to drink or eat engine oil or gasoline we would probably get very sick. Why? It is because we are not meant to ingest either of those things. Engine oil and gasoline are said not to be good for the inside of our bodies. However, these things are very good for the inside of our car engines. Likewise, since we do not have gills, it is said to be “not good” for us to attempt to breathe under water on our own. We cannot fly and so it is good that we do not try to jump from high places and attempt to fly. We know the truth of our limitations by observing ourselves and others. In learning the truth of ourselves as human beings and responding appropriately we act within our natural limitations. All of our natural limitations are given to us by our Creator just like the carpenter who creates the chair to be what it is and not what it is not.
Now, since we are human beings we have free will to choose between this or that. If we wanted to choose to brush our teeth with a chair, it would be very difficult and even ridiculous. Our teeth would not get clean. Instead, we use a toothbrush for cleaning our teeth and chairs to sit in. Of course, neither chairs nor toothbrushes can choose their actions. Only human beings can choose between this or that. We can even choose something other than what our instincts are inclined toward. We can choose, for example, not to eat even if we are hungry, not to eat meat even though we are carnivorous, not to speak even though we may want to say something. Since we human beings have free will we were created with the ability to choose.
Since we human beings have free will we have the task to choose between this or that every day and almost at every moment of our lives. We make these decisions based upon what we know is good for us and what we know is bad for us. When we act from our natural limitations we act in participation, through our free will, after we realize (by reason and by faith – the two faculties inside of us that help us to come to the knowledge of truth) what our intended reason for being is. But, how can we come to knowledge about what our intended reason for being is?
A chair is created and indented to be sat in; a toothbrush is created and intended to clean teeth; a car is created and intended for transportation. For what reason are human beings created and intended? We believe God has created us. But, for what reason?
(Caution: the most confusing paragraph is coming up now)
If we can come to realize the truth of that reason, the reason we are created, we can act in accordance with our intended reason for being which comes from our Creator. These kinds of actions are called, moral for the reason that a moral action is any action which brings us closer to our end goal which is the intended reason for being that comes from the mind of our creator. Action in accord with our limitations is said to be “freedom giving” instead of “freedom restricting,” for the reason that these choices are the best for us. Freedom, in fact, is the ability to choose the good. Freedom is NOT the ability to choose "this" or "that." On the contrary, "free will" it the ability to choose between "this" or "that." Freedom itself, however, functions different that free will. When, for example, a person chooses not to drink motor oil for survival they are said to have made a good choice. When a person chooses not to use another person as an object like in the case of pornography or non-marital sex and even in the case of contraception, a person is said to have made a good and freedom giving choice. These good choices are freedom giving for the reason that the more we human beings engage in them, the easier they become and the more attractive the "good" also becomes for us. In the beginning it is difficult to turn away from pornography or contraception, for example, unchastity, oral sex with a boyfriend or girlfriend, masturbation, etc. But, the more we choose to turn away from that morally bad choice, the more we are set free to make good choices. This is why St. Paul, for example, talks lots about our human nature and sins effects which keep us "enslaved." He says, "For I do not do the good I want; but I do the evil I do not want. . . So, then, I discover the principle that when I want to do right, evil is at hand. For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self, but I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members." (Romans 7:19; 21-24) Of course, I still haven’t answered the question from above: For what reason are human beings created?
For what reason are human beings created?
Happiness, or Beatitude is the answer. Human beings are created for happiness which Jesus calls “Beatitude” in the Gospels. (Mt. 5:3-12) Happiness, or Beatitude, in its complete form is total union with God. This, we know, happens in heaven. It begins to happen for us in this life then happens in totality when we make it to Heaven. Human beings, then, are created for Heaven.
Persons are created, designed and intended for Heaven which our total happiness and union with God.
In order to be fully happy in heaven, then, we have to realize our created limits and act from them accordingly, since free will chooses “this” or “that” action. This type of action is the action of “morality.”
MORALITY, THEN, HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HAPPINESS!!!
Since morality has everything to do with the truth of the human person, and helping us become happy by not making “unhappy” or bad choices, so too does sexual morality help to set us free for a life of happiness. Happiness, truth and sex all go together since we are people. That’s God’s design. But please, don’t just think of these principles when it comes to a Theology of the Body and the truth of human love and sex in the divine plan. Think of these principles and apply them to your philosophy professors who might teach that there is no truth or that morality is different for everyone. God created us for a purpose and we have the ability to act in accord with our God-given purpose in freedom or not. Sex, ultimately, this great gift of God, with all the rules we’ve been talking about throughout this lengthy blog, has the ability to cause and increase our happiness and freedom as an experience, a foretaste, of heaven when we choose to act from God’s design which is founded in the sacrament of marriage. God wants our best good. He doesn’t want to oppress us or restrict us with a bunch of rules. He wants to set us free to love as we’re created to love, with our bodies and with our sexuality. All the rules the Catholic Church teaches about sexual morality are there for our good, not our oppression. There is truth and the truth will set us free. (John 8:32; 14:6)
Ok everyone, sorry I failed to talk exceedingly about sexually explicit teachings during this blog. That was a lot of technical language. With God’s help, I decided we should take a look at a very “deadly” root cause of the poor understanding our culture is offering in regard to truth and the human person which is called: relativity. It’s out there in soooooooooooooooooo many patterns of thought. It effects this current “culture of death,” and feeds our youth (me included) a number of lies about our God given sexuality. By taking a closer look at the roots of relativism I hope you will be able to see with new eyes when it’s effecting you in thought, word or deed and especially when it effects your human sexuality.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Theology of the Body, Talk #8: A practical plan to live chastity for guys and for girls. How do I break an addiction to pornography or masturbation? How can a girl keep her boyfriend from demanding sexual favors? What is the difference for guys and girls when it comes to chastity, sex and purity of heart?
If you have read this entire blog since the beginning you may be thinking in your mind or heart: “Ok Benjamin, is this stuff really possible to live at all?” Or, “How in the world can a person practice the Church’s teaching on sex?” I would like to take a moment to address both guys and girls, men and women, regarding the admittedly difficult, yet totally freeing and beautiful, teaching of the Church when it comes to sex, love, marriage, and life.
One of my favorite “celebrities” is Bruce Lee. I like Chuck Norris too. But, everyone knows that Bruce Lee could take down Chuck Norris. Sorry Chuck. Bruce Lee is the original martial arts master. If you know anything about Bruce Lee you know that he used to train for most of the day. I know because I have the book he wrote on his training regiment. Each day he would train for up to 8 hours working on his stretches, strength, technique, his power, speed, agility, breaking, sparing, and even his mind. Sometimes when I read that book I have to laugh because the training Bruce Lee underwent is almost ridiculous! Of course, that is why he became a martial arts master. He would do like 200 squat / ups/ thrusters/ spin kicks in one minute, or something like that. (Well, that’s not quite accurate, but you know what I mean.) Bruce could kick higher than his head! Imagine that! Better yet, try stepping back from your computer and kicking your leg up higher than your head. If you’re like me, after you kick your leg up three feet from the ground you would think, “how can I get an extra 3 or 4 feet of height here?” That will take lots of stretching to achieve. Chastity, like Bruce’s regiment, generally takes lots of spiritual stretching and warfare to achieve with the help of God’s grace. However, there are some saintly exceptions when the gift has been instantly given. In fact, since Lent is here, a good estimated time frame to overcome vice is generally 40 days, with the help of God! In the end, (and here I do literally mean the end of your life) I understand more and more that the real spiritual life and every virtue is a life-long and constant battle. Make no mistake. The Church’s teaching on sex and marriage is difficult. But, hopefully as you are experiencing for yourself in the Theology of the Body it is worth the real freedom, love and life that a foretaste and experience of Heaven offers us now for the glory of God. “Better is one day in your courts, O Lord, than are one thousand elsewhere.” (Ps 84:11 ) In fact, similar to Bruce Lee’s philosophy on his martial arts training, the late Holy Father Pope John Paul II said that we should prefer death to any fall in chastity when it comes to our spiritual life. Now that is one intense spiritual plan. Of course, Jesus said the same thing! (Mt. 5:27-30) So, step number one: (and please try to say this with that cool accent Bruce Lee had) Ask God to help you desire chastity, virtue and the life of Christ more than anything else. Pray for chastity each day, each moment even. One of the practices of St. Therese the Little Flower was the simple prayer: “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I love you. Save souls.” (Pieta, Book of Catholic Prayers) And here’s one from St. Josemaria Escriva: “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.’ What a beautiful prayer for you to say often, with the faith of the poor leper, when there happens to you what God and you and I know may happen. You won’t have to wait long to hear the Master’s reply: “Volo, mundare!” – “I will! Be made clean!’” (Escriva, The Way. #142. 1965)
One of the best analogies of the spiritual life I could give to guys and men is the analogy of the martial artist. In fact, this analogy is one I am very familiar with. It has worked for me for many years. I was able to achieve a second degree black belt myself in college after many years of training and teaching martial arts. While I didn’t have the celebrity skills that Bruce Lee had, I was able to train for up to 4 hours each day (except Sundays) and teach students of all ages, body types, abilities, experiences and desire. Truly, as a man, it was there I received some of my most effective tools for holiness and I had no idea until many years later in the seminary. Any physical training is very difficult, especially at first. The same is true of spiritual training. Spiritual training in men and in women seemingly works somewhat different. Often guys and girls will fall for different temptations in the life of chastity. Because of these differences with men and women I would like to take up both sexes for a better explanation of how temptations work. However, if there are any women kick-boxers or Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu artists reading along here please feel free to adapt all of the following practices. (And yes, in case you were wondering, there were women who beat me up in sparing sometimes.)
Often for men, the lie that fuels our lust is this: “I’ll give her love, attraction, attention, affection so she will give me sex.” Men, as I said in an earlier blog, are sexually aroused, generally speaking, by the things they see. The saints and Fathers of the Church encourage us to “keep custody of the eyes.” This means to simply not look at whatever will lead you to lust. This is especially true for guys. Now, in this culture keeping custody of the eyes is much more difficult that it was for the Church Fathers 1500 years ago. So, step number two for our spiritual training is to cut out anything that you see which leads you to lust: all pornography, Cosmopolitan, Maxium, and any internet sites that are even remotely suggestive. If you have to, simply disconnect your internet! “Wait, Benjamin, that’s impossible!” It really is nearly impossible, but it can be done. To those of you who are not addicted to looking at pornography, this will be much easier than for those who are addicted to pornography. Even for those of you who start out by looking at cable t.v., then Sports Illustrated Swim Suit, then move on to more addictive and deadly things on internet sites . . . you will struggle even more with simply cutting this out of your life. For the addict, telling them to “just stop” is virtually impossible. But, remember that all things are possible with God. (Mt. 19:26) Before I go on to address the difficulties in “just stopping” some already addictive behavior I want to speak to the ladies.
Ladies, the last paragraph has hopefully given you great insight into the mind of a guy. Know that the devil works in him to “see” the things he should not. This is generally different than for girls, although it still remains a great temptation. The lie that fuels the lust of women is usually: “I’ll give him sex so he’ll give me love, affection and attention.” Usually, when a girl gets trapped in the cycle she is seeking the “deeper” realities, the bonding, the feelings, and the attachment. Men generally seek the physical pleasure and women generally seek the emotional pleasure. Of course, in the holy revelation that sex is the total, faithful, fruitful and free gift of spouses, each to the other using the language of the body which speaks: “take this, my body, I give it up for you in love without holding anything back,” like Jesus on the cross and in the Eucharist, both of these temptations are overcome. Let me just say that one more time. Both of these temptations in men and women can be completely overcome including the desire in men to lust with the eyes and then seek sex for physical pleasure as well as the temptation in women to lust with attention and affection, even control, and then seek sex for emotional pleasure. Imagine the reality of participating in the marital embrace with your mind and heart in union transparently giving yourself totally for the best good of your spouse; fruitfully open with every act of sexual intercourse to the possibility of life; faithfully embracing in your mind, heart and body only one other person – the one God has intended for you from the beginning; and freely being received by the other without having to trick them or convince them dishonestly because of the inadequacies you already feel. This is what Pope John Paul II refers to as the living of nakedness without shame (Gen 2:25). (Theology of the Body, General Audience, Jan. 16. 1980)
Here’s how Christopher West talks about that experience: “Adam looked at himself; he looked at Eve. He realized this profound reality: ‘We go together. God made us for each other. I can give myself to you, and you can give yourself to me, and we can life in a life-giving communion of love” – the image of God, marriage. . . .That was the sentiment of sexual desire as God created it and as they experienced it: to make a gift of themselves to each other in the image of God. This is why they were naked and felt no shame (see Gen 2:25). There’s no shame in loving as God loves, only the experience of joy, peace, and a deep knowledge of human goodness.” (The Good News about Sex and Marriage. p.23. 2000. St. Anthony Messenger Press.)
To those men who are more steeped and addicted to lusting after women in whatever way (pornography, masturbation, hooking up for a one night stand, even prostitution or the exchange of sexual favors, “friends with benefits,” or the great struggle of desiring chastity in your dating life but being overcome with passion and lust after every attempt to stay pure) this next part if for you specifically. The Theology of the Body proclaims boldly that sex addiction can be overcome with Christ’s grace and help! It also proclaims that women should not make excuses for their men who are addicted to sex but call them up to a higher level of love. Jason Everet notices that sometimes girls will feel trapped by a boyfriend who rationalizes his addiction of porn by dressing with lower cut shirts, shorts, and exposing more of herself, even using attire from Play boy on her belts, earrings, etc. (Theology of the Body for Teens. DVD. Chapter 6, What is the Meaning of Sex?) She may feel she has to do this in order to keep his attention since he disposes of women and the image of women as soon as she stops generating a certain amount of lust in him. Or, as some guys say, “She just doesn’t turn me on any more.” What these guys fail to realize is that with porn and masturbation and any sex addiction they have trained themselves in lust with repetition and pattern. This is the definition of emasculation. (Everets. Romance without Regret. DVD, 2003). These guys have emasculated themselves by doing the opposite of what they are called to do by Christ, who is the model for all men. That is, to give oneself away completely in love for the best good of the other, which is heaven. Real men suffer and sacrifice, like Christ on the cross, for the sake of their beloved. Pope John Paul II once said: “The person who does not decide to love forever will find it very difficult to really love for even one day.” (JP II, The Love within Families. 799) Now that is intense spiritual training.
So, besides practicing the first two steps in a practical guide to chastity (constant prayer for purity and real love as well as complete custody of the eyes) the next step, step three, would be to bring this problem into the light. The devil hates it when we bring our sins into the light. The Sacrament of Confession is an essential tool to overcome lust. Truly, there was a time in my life I was in the Confessional once a week striving and fighting with all my strength for chastity. In addition to Confession, it would be good to bring your struggle into the light of a friend who can hold you accountable and check on you from time-to-time or even every day. This takes humility but it will be necessary. I think that’s even one of the 12 Steps for Alcoholics Anonymous . . . I think. Bring your struggle into the light with humility and courage. After the Sacrament of Reconciliation please go to frequent Holy Communion and return to a completed state of grace as often as possible.
If you and your girlfriend / boyfriend are experiencing some sex addictions with each other these steps can be practiced and repeated by both of you. As a high school girl, Crystalina Evert talks about how she committed herself to her future husband even though she had never met him. When she was tempted to go party, engage with a boyfriend, or finagle a hook-up she would write to him: “Beloved,” she says, “It’s Friday night, my so-called friends have just left, and I feel incredibly alone! You see they all came over in their little skirts and wanted to go clubbing. They were drinking. . . .I felt pulled in two separate directions and part of me wanted to go. But my other half knew what was waiting there for me. I couldn’t. . . at times like this it’s hard. I’m praying for you. Know I give all this to you. Giving you all my love. Crystalina.” (Pure Womanhood. 33. Catholic Answers, 2008.) Now that is a beautiful gift. She’s like a spiritual Bruce Lee! There are many more good practices for couples desiring greater freedom and chastity such as a commitment from both to be pure. If one is committed to chastity and one is not in a relationship, it’s just not going to work. Also, be very mindful of how, when and where you show affection to each other. Please also remember from TOB blog #6: genital stimulation, heavy petting, foreplay, and oral sex for any unmarried person is not a total, faithful or fruitful gift of love and necessarily causes harm to the persons involved. In fact, even for married persons these sexual actions have to undergo careful consideration internally (in the heart) and externally (in the action itself). For example, if a married couple engages in these behaviors it must always point toward the completeness of the marital embrace itself. If a married couple substitutes oral sex for the marital embrace of sex without being open to children, or giving oneself totally then they have engaged in a type of non-marital sexuality not proper or even loving for the persons involved.
Lent is the time the entire Church universal enters the desert of more intense prayer, fasting and alms. Be consoled with these 40 days of grace. In the battle for chastity, especially in the culture today, we have to be like spiritual Bruce Lee’s. Pray that God will make you into a spiritual Bruce Lee for the sake of the Kingdom, your family, friends, and most especially your own soul and happiness as well as the soul of your future spouse or even your current spouse (adults).
To conclude I can give a couple more quotes, prayers really, that can help to invoke the Holy Spirit and seek God’s powerful grace for the spiritual battlefield of love vs lust.
A Prayer in a Moment of Temptation to Lust, by Christopher West: “This is a woman (man) made in the image and likeness of God, never to be looked upon as an object for my gratification. Lord Jesus, grant me the grace to see the image of your glory in the beauty of this woman (man), and order my sexual desires toward the truth of love. I renounce any tendency within me to use others for my own pleasure, and I unite my sufferings with yours on the cross. Amen.” (The Good News about Sex and Marriage. p. 84. 2000. St. Anthony Messenger Press.)
“There is need for a crusade of manliness and purity to counteract and nullify the savage work of those who think man is a beast. And that crusade is your work.” (Escriva, The Way. #121. 1965)
If you have read this entire blog since the beginning you may be thinking in your mind or heart: “Ok Benjamin, is this stuff really possible to live at all?” Or, “How in the world can a person practice the Church’s teaching on sex?” I would like to take a moment to address both guys and girls, men and women, regarding the admittedly difficult, yet totally freeing and beautiful, teaching of the Church when it comes to sex, love, marriage, and life.
One of my favorite “celebrities” is Bruce Lee. I like Chuck Norris too. But, everyone knows that Bruce Lee could take down Chuck Norris. Sorry Chuck. Bruce Lee is the original martial arts master. If you know anything about Bruce Lee you know that he used to train for most of the day. I know because I have the book he wrote on his training regiment. Each day he would train for up to 8 hours working on his stretches, strength, technique, his power, speed, agility, breaking, sparing, and even his mind. Sometimes when I read that book I have to laugh because the training Bruce Lee underwent is almost ridiculous! Of course, that is why he became a martial arts master. He would do like 200 squat / ups/ thrusters/ spin kicks in one minute, or something like that. (Well, that’s not quite accurate, but you know what I mean.) Bruce could kick higher than his head! Imagine that! Better yet, try stepping back from your computer and kicking your leg up higher than your head. If you’re like me, after you kick your leg up three feet from the ground you would think, “how can I get an extra 3 or 4 feet of height here?” That will take lots of stretching to achieve. Chastity, like Bruce’s regiment, generally takes lots of spiritual stretching and warfare to achieve with the help of God’s grace. However, there are some saintly exceptions when the gift has been instantly given. In fact, since Lent is here, a good estimated time frame to overcome vice is generally 40 days, with the help of God! In the end, (and here I do literally mean the end of your life) I understand more and more that the real spiritual life and every virtue is a life-long and constant battle. Make no mistake. The Church’s teaching on sex and marriage is difficult. But, hopefully as you are experiencing for yourself in the Theology of the Body it is worth the real freedom, love and life that a foretaste and experience of Heaven offers us now for the glory of God. “Better is one day in your courts, O Lord, than are one thousand elsewhere.” (Ps 84:11 ) In fact, similar to Bruce Lee’s philosophy on his martial arts training, the late Holy Father Pope John Paul II said that we should prefer death to any fall in chastity when it comes to our spiritual life. Now that is one intense spiritual plan. Of course, Jesus said the same thing! (Mt. 5:27-30) So, step number one: (and please try to say this with that cool accent Bruce Lee had) Ask God to help you desire chastity, virtue and the life of Christ more than anything else. Pray for chastity each day, each moment even. One of the practices of St. Therese the Little Flower was the simple prayer: “Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I love you. Save souls.” (Pieta, Book of Catholic Prayers) And here’s one from St. Josemaria Escriva: “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.’ What a beautiful prayer for you to say often, with the faith of the poor leper, when there happens to you what God and you and I know may happen. You won’t have to wait long to hear the Master’s reply: “Volo, mundare!” – “I will! Be made clean!’” (Escriva, The Way. #142. 1965)
One of the best analogies of the spiritual life I could give to guys and men is the analogy of the martial artist. In fact, this analogy is one I am very familiar with. It has worked for me for many years. I was able to achieve a second degree black belt myself in college after many years of training and teaching martial arts. While I didn’t have the celebrity skills that Bruce Lee had, I was able to train for up to 4 hours each day (except Sundays) and teach students of all ages, body types, abilities, experiences and desire. Truly, as a man, it was there I received some of my most effective tools for holiness and I had no idea until many years later in the seminary. Any physical training is very difficult, especially at first. The same is true of spiritual training. Spiritual training in men and in women seemingly works somewhat different. Often guys and girls will fall for different temptations in the life of chastity. Because of these differences with men and women I would like to take up both sexes for a better explanation of how temptations work. However, if there are any women kick-boxers or Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu artists reading along here please feel free to adapt all of the following practices. (And yes, in case you were wondering, there were women who beat me up in sparing sometimes.)
Often for men, the lie that fuels our lust is this: “I’ll give her love, attraction, attention, affection so she will give me sex.” Men, as I said in an earlier blog, are sexually aroused, generally speaking, by the things they see. The saints and Fathers of the Church encourage us to “keep custody of the eyes.” This means to simply not look at whatever will lead you to lust. This is especially true for guys. Now, in this culture keeping custody of the eyes is much more difficult that it was for the Church Fathers 1500 years ago. So, step number two for our spiritual training is to cut out anything that you see which leads you to lust: all pornography, Cosmopolitan, Maxium, and any internet sites that are even remotely suggestive. If you have to, simply disconnect your internet! “Wait, Benjamin, that’s impossible!” It really is nearly impossible, but it can be done. To those of you who are not addicted to looking at pornography, this will be much easier than for those who are addicted to pornography. Even for those of you who start out by looking at cable t.v., then Sports Illustrated Swim Suit, then move on to more addictive and deadly things on internet sites . . . you will struggle even more with simply cutting this out of your life. For the addict, telling them to “just stop” is virtually impossible. But, remember that all things are possible with God. (Mt. 19:26) Before I go on to address the difficulties in “just stopping” some already addictive behavior I want to speak to the ladies.
Ladies, the last paragraph has hopefully given you great insight into the mind of a guy. Know that the devil works in him to “see” the things he should not. This is generally different than for girls, although it still remains a great temptation. The lie that fuels the lust of women is usually: “I’ll give him sex so he’ll give me love, affection and attention.” Usually, when a girl gets trapped in the cycle she is seeking the “deeper” realities, the bonding, the feelings, and the attachment. Men generally seek the physical pleasure and women generally seek the emotional pleasure. Of course, in the holy revelation that sex is the total, faithful, fruitful and free gift of spouses, each to the other using the language of the body which speaks: “take this, my body, I give it up for you in love without holding anything back,” like Jesus on the cross and in the Eucharist, both of these temptations are overcome. Let me just say that one more time. Both of these temptations in men and women can be completely overcome including the desire in men to lust with the eyes and then seek sex for physical pleasure as well as the temptation in women to lust with attention and affection, even control, and then seek sex for emotional pleasure. Imagine the reality of participating in the marital embrace with your mind and heart in union transparently giving yourself totally for the best good of your spouse; fruitfully open with every act of sexual intercourse to the possibility of life; faithfully embracing in your mind, heart and body only one other person – the one God has intended for you from the beginning; and freely being received by the other without having to trick them or convince them dishonestly because of the inadequacies you already feel. This is what Pope John Paul II refers to as the living of nakedness without shame (Gen 2:25). (Theology of the Body, General Audience, Jan. 16. 1980)
Here’s how Christopher West talks about that experience: “Adam looked at himself; he looked at Eve. He realized this profound reality: ‘We go together. God made us for each other. I can give myself to you, and you can give yourself to me, and we can life in a life-giving communion of love” – the image of God, marriage. . . .That was the sentiment of sexual desire as God created it and as they experienced it: to make a gift of themselves to each other in the image of God. This is why they were naked and felt no shame (see Gen 2:25). There’s no shame in loving as God loves, only the experience of joy, peace, and a deep knowledge of human goodness.” (The Good News about Sex and Marriage. p.23. 2000. St. Anthony Messenger Press.)
To those men who are more steeped and addicted to lusting after women in whatever way (pornography, masturbation, hooking up for a one night stand, even prostitution or the exchange of sexual favors, “friends with benefits,” or the great struggle of desiring chastity in your dating life but being overcome with passion and lust after every attempt to stay pure) this next part if for you specifically. The Theology of the Body proclaims boldly that sex addiction can be overcome with Christ’s grace and help! It also proclaims that women should not make excuses for their men who are addicted to sex but call them up to a higher level of love. Jason Everet notices that sometimes girls will feel trapped by a boyfriend who rationalizes his addiction of porn by dressing with lower cut shirts, shorts, and exposing more of herself, even using attire from Play boy on her belts, earrings, etc. (Theology of the Body for Teens. DVD. Chapter 6, What is the Meaning of Sex?) She may feel she has to do this in order to keep his attention since he disposes of women and the image of women as soon as she stops generating a certain amount of lust in him. Or, as some guys say, “She just doesn’t turn me on any more.” What these guys fail to realize is that with porn and masturbation and any sex addiction they have trained themselves in lust with repetition and pattern. This is the definition of emasculation. (Everets. Romance without Regret. DVD, 2003). These guys have emasculated themselves by doing the opposite of what they are called to do by Christ, who is the model for all men. That is, to give oneself away completely in love for the best good of the other, which is heaven. Real men suffer and sacrifice, like Christ on the cross, for the sake of their beloved. Pope John Paul II once said: “The person who does not decide to love forever will find it very difficult to really love for even one day.” (JP II, The Love within Families. 799) Now that is intense spiritual training.
So, besides practicing the first two steps in a practical guide to chastity (constant prayer for purity and real love as well as complete custody of the eyes) the next step, step three, would be to bring this problem into the light. The devil hates it when we bring our sins into the light. The Sacrament of Confession is an essential tool to overcome lust. Truly, there was a time in my life I was in the Confessional once a week striving and fighting with all my strength for chastity. In addition to Confession, it would be good to bring your struggle into the light of a friend who can hold you accountable and check on you from time-to-time or even every day. This takes humility but it will be necessary. I think that’s even one of the 12 Steps for Alcoholics Anonymous . . . I think. Bring your struggle into the light with humility and courage. After the Sacrament of Reconciliation please go to frequent Holy Communion and return to a completed state of grace as often as possible.
If you and your girlfriend / boyfriend are experiencing some sex addictions with each other these steps can be practiced and repeated by both of you. As a high school girl, Crystalina Evert talks about how she committed herself to her future husband even though she had never met him. When she was tempted to go party, engage with a boyfriend, or finagle a hook-up she would write to him: “Beloved,” she says, “It’s Friday night, my so-called friends have just left, and I feel incredibly alone! You see they all came over in their little skirts and wanted to go clubbing. They were drinking. . . .I felt pulled in two separate directions and part of me wanted to go. But my other half knew what was waiting there for me. I couldn’t. . . at times like this it’s hard. I’m praying for you. Know I give all this to you. Giving you all my love. Crystalina.” (Pure Womanhood. 33. Catholic Answers, 2008.) Now that is a beautiful gift. She’s like a spiritual Bruce Lee! There are many more good practices for couples desiring greater freedom and chastity such as a commitment from both to be pure. If one is committed to chastity and one is not in a relationship, it’s just not going to work. Also, be very mindful of how, when and where you show affection to each other. Please also remember from TOB blog #6: genital stimulation, heavy petting, foreplay, and oral sex for any unmarried person is not a total, faithful or fruitful gift of love and necessarily causes harm to the persons involved. In fact, even for married persons these sexual actions have to undergo careful consideration internally (in the heart) and externally (in the action itself). For example, if a married couple engages in these behaviors it must always point toward the completeness of the marital embrace itself. If a married couple substitutes oral sex for the marital embrace of sex without being open to children, or giving oneself totally then they have engaged in a type of non-marital sexuality not proper or even loving for the persons involved.
Lent is the time the entire Church universal enters the desert of more intense prayer, fasting and alms. Be consoled with these 40 days of grace. In the battle for chastity, especially in the culture today, we have to be like spiritual Bruce Lee’s. Pray that God will make you into a spiritual Bruce Lee for the sake of the Kingdom, your family, friends, and most especially your own soul and happiness as well as the soul of your future spouse or even your current spouse (adults).
To conclude I can give a couple more quotes, prayers really, that can help to invoke the Holy Spirit and seek God’s powerful grace for the spiritual battlefield of love vs lust.
A Prayer in a Moment of Temptation to Lust, by Christopher West: “This is a woman (man) made in the image and likeness of God, never to be looked upon as an object for my gratification. Lord Jesus, grant me the grace to see the image of your glory in the beauty of this woman (man), and order my sexual desires toward the truth of love. I renounce any tendency within me to use others for my own pleasure, and I unite my sufferings with yours on the cross. Amen.” (The Good News about Sex and Marriage. p. 84. 2000. St. Anthony Messenger Press.)
“There is need for a crusade of manliness and purity to counteract and nullify the savage work of those who think man is a beast. And that crusade is your work.” (Escriva, The Way. #121. 1965)
Monday, February 8, 2010
Theology of the Body, Talk #7: Does the Church teach that homosexuality is a sin?
We are continuing the commentary on the late Pope John Paul II’s, Theology of the Body, with many of the common questions young people have regarding human sexuality. In fact, as you can see, these are simply many of the questions most people have regarding sex. All of the concepts you are reading about such as the “Spousal or Nuptial Meaning of the Body,” (re: Talk #6) come from Pope John Paul II and have been revolutionizing our Catholic understanding of sexuality and personhood since they were delivered in his Wednesday Audiences from 1979-1984. We can apply the basic principles of the Pope’s Theology of the Body to all of our questions regarding human sexuality for a more complete and freedom giving understanding that helps us with the reasons behind the answers to our questions about sex. The Pope’s Theology of the Body, more than ever before in history, has explained clearly the Catholic teaching on sex giving us, the faithful, a deep understanding as to “why” these teachings are moral, freeing, and always respecting the dignity of the person(s); therefore proclaiming, following, and signifying Christ’s love. Christopher West and Jason Evert both affirm that it’s said of all the things ever written on the topic of sex for Catholics, Pope John Paul II has written two-thirds of it! It is not that the Pope simply “made up” or “declared these teachings infallible.” It is not the Pope’s place to simply create the Catholic teaching regarding human sexuality. God created the Catholic understanding and teaching of sex and He choose to pass it on to us by way of the Scriptures, Tradition, the Apostolic Succession and Petrine Ministry (the succession of Popes, that is) and the gift of the Holy Spirit to the Church who “leads us to all truth.” (Jn 16:12-16) What the Pope can and has done in the Theology of the Body is en-flesh or deepen our understanding as to why the Church teaches what the Holy Spirit has given Her to teach regarding sex and marriage.
Does the Church teach that homosexuality is a sin? First, I want to answer the question clearly. Then we can look into the Theology of the Body for a deeper understanding as to “why” the teaching stands as it does. This deeper understanding should always be more freedom giving, signifying Christ’s love for us, his own Bride the Church. Remember that sex, and the body, is sacramental in that it makes visible the invisible God. (Theology of the Body. Intimacy – The Hidden Meaning of Vision. General Audience of January 2, 1980. JPII)
No, the Church does not teach that a “same-sex attraction” is morally wrong or sinful; but that homosexual “acts” are intrinsically disordered and morally wrong. (Catechism of the Catholic Church. #2357) The morality of homosexual attraction comes in the “action,” that is, what the person with a same-sex (a.k.a, homosexual) attraction does with the desire for sex. If a man is attracted to men sexually and chooses to remain chaste, pure, always reverencing the real meaning of sex (re: Talk #5) for what it is: the complete self-giving love of a man and woman who are consummating their marriage bond signifying Christ’s love for his spouse the Church in the one flesh union, always open to life, then that man is without sin in this case. Any person with a same-sex attraction who practices chastity is not sinful. Chastity is the vocation and calling of every person inside and outside of marriage (yes, there is marital chastity too!). So, if one never marries, then one is not called to the vocation of “the marital act.” This calling to chastity by God (Mt. 5:27-28; 19; Mk 10:1-16; Gen 2:24; Titus 2:1-6) is for every human person. Those of you dating, for example, are called to chastity just as a person struggling with same-sex attraction is always called to chastity. For those who are dating and for those attracted to the same-sex, chastity means abstaining from sex for the sake of the beloved. Otherwise, as we learned in the last blog, sex outside of marriage always communicates an unfortunate lie which happens between two bodies and necessarily does harm to the persons involved. Here we learn that any practice of un-chaste behavior is sinful, harmful and un-loving. This is true, not only for a person with homosexual orientation, but true also for a person with heterosexual orientation as well. There is no discrimination in the virtue of chastity! The sin happens with the action and behavior but not with the orientation. This is a very important point since the Catholic Church is often misunderstood to teach that homosexual orientation is sinful. The truth is, however, that the action of un-chaste behavior is sinful holding the same standard for hetero and homosexual orientations. Since God instituted marriage to be between a man and woman, no homosexual union can be called marital. In sex (the marital act) there is always a unitive meaning that has to remain connected to the procreative meaning according to God’s design and plan for love and life. (Humanae Vitae. #12. Pope Paul VI)
But, Benjamin, holy smokes that’s so difficult! Who can do that? Who can remain chaste their entire life? How can persons with same-sex attraction abstain from sex their whole lives?
Let me tell you a simple story. I want to mention some holy people I know personally who struggle with same-sex attraction who live the fullness of chastity according to their single state in life!!! (I’m not going to name them, of course, I just want to mention that these saintly people do exist.) They take up their cross daily and recommit themselves to the great virtue of chastity . . . which is what we all should be doing. For them, it may mean an entire life without sex (sexual intercourse). They will not die from a lack of sex, as our culture insists will happen. They also know they are not “entitled” to sex. None of us are entitled to sex. Sex (the marital act) is a gift waiting for those called to and eventually given the vocation to marriage. Sexual intercourse, as we have been talking about, is sacramental in nature. Just like Holy Orders, not everyone is called to it. Instead, it is a gift given by God to those men and women called to the one flesh union and complete self gift of love which signifies Christ’s love for His own spouse the Church. Those persons with same-sex attraction who strive for chastity daily are models for us to follow in virtue. They are full of courage, counter-cultural commitment to God and real love. They have meaningful friendships and are capable of deep, abiding love, joy and another type of fruitfulness that effects many, many lives, proclaims Gospel values and speaks the truthful language of the body.
We are continuing the commentary on the late Pope John Paul II’s, Theology of the Body, with many of the common questions young people have regarding human sexuality. In fact, as you can see, these are simply many of the questions most people have regarding sex. All of the concepts you are reading about such as the “Spousal or Nuptial Meaning of the Body,” (re: Talk #6) come from Pope John Paul II and have been revolutionizing our Catholic understanding of sexuality and personhood since they were delivered in his Wednesday Audiences from 1979-1984. We can apply the basic principles of the Pope’s Theology of the Body to all of our questions regarding human sexuality for a more complete and freedom giving understanding that helps us with the reasons behind the answers to our questions about sex. The Pope’s Theology of the Body, more than ever before in history, has explained clearly the Catholic teaching on sex giving us, the faithful, a deep understanding as to “why” these teachings are moral, freeing, and always respecting the dignity of the person(s); therefore proclaiming, following, and signifying Christ’s love. Christopher West and Jason Evert both affirm that it’s said of all the things ever written on the topic of sex for Catholics, Pope John Paul II has written two-thirds of it! It is not that the Pope simply “made up” or “declared these teachings infallible.” It is not the Pope’s place to simply create the Catholic teaching regarding human sexuality. God created the Catholic understanding and teaching of sex and He choose to pass it on to us by way of the Scriptures, Tradition, the Apostolic Succession and Petrine Ministry (the succession of Popes, that is) and the gift of the Holy Spirit to the Church who “leads us to all truth.” (Jn 16:12-16) What the Pope can and has done in the Theology of the Body is en-flesh or deepen our understanding as to why the Church teaches what the Holy Spirit has given Her to teach regarding sex and marriage.
Does the Church teach that homosexuality is a sin? First, I want to answer the question clearly. Then we can look into the Theology of the Body for a deeper understanding as to “why” the teaching stands as it does. This deeper understanding should always be more freedom giving, signifying Christ’s love for us, his own Bride the Church. Remember that sex, and the body, is sacramental in that it makes visible the invisible God. (Theology of the Body. Intimacy – The Hidden Meaning of Vision. General Audience of January 2, 1980. JPII)
No, the Church does not teach that a “same-sex attraction” is morally wrong or sinful; but that homosexual “acts” are intrinsically disordered and morally wrong. (Catechism of the Catholic Church. #2357) The morality of homosexual attraction comes in the “action,” that is, what the person with a same-sex (a.k.a, homosexual) attraction does with the desire for sex. If a man is attracted to men sexually and chooses to remain chaste, pure, always reverencing the real meaning of sex (re: Talk #5) for what it is: the complete self-giving love of a man and woman who are consummating their marriage bond signifying Christ’s love for his spouse the Church in the one flesh union, always open to life, then that man is without sin in this case. Any person with a same-sex attraction who practices chastity is not sinful. Chastity is the vocation and calling of every person inside and outside of marriage (yes, there is marital chastity too!). So, if one never marries, then one is not called to the vocation of “the marital act.” This calling to chastity by God (Mt. 5:27-28; 19; Mk 10:1-16; Gen 2:24; Titus 2:1-6) is for every human person. Those of you dating, for example, are called to chastity just as a person struggling with same-sex attraction is always called to chastity. For those who are dating and for those attracted to the same-sex, chastity means abstaining from sex for the sake of the beloved. Otherwise, as we learned in the last blog, sex outside of marriage always communicates an unfortunate lie which happens between two bodies and necessarily does harm to the persons involved. Here we learn that any practice of un-chaste behavior is sinful, harmful and un-loving. This is true, not only for a person with homosexual orientation, but true also for a person with heterosexual orientation as well. There is no discrimination in the virtue of chastity! The sin happens with the action and behavior but not with the orientation. This is a very important point since the Catholic Church is often misunderstood to teach that homosexual orientation is sinful. The truth is, however, that the action of un-chaste behavior is sinful holding the same standard for hetero and homosexual orientations. Since God instituted marriage to be between a man and woman, no homosexual union can be called marital. In sex (the marital act) there is always a unitive meaning that has to remain connected to the procreative meaning according to God’s design and plan for love and life. (Humanae Vitae. #12. Pope Paul VI)
But, Benjamin, holy smokes that’s so difficult! Who can do that? Who can remain chaste their entire life? How can persons with same-sex attraction abstain from sex their whole lives?
Let me tell you a simple story. I want to mention some holy people I know personally who struggle with same-sex attraction who live the fullness of chastity according to their single state in life!!! (I’m not going to name them, of course, I just want to mention that these saintly people do exist.) They take up their cross daily and recommit themselves to the great virtue of chastity . . . which is what we all should be doing. For them, it may mean an entire life without sex (sexual intercourse). They will not die from a lack of sex, as our culture insists will happen. They also know they are not “entitled” to sex. None of us are entitled to sex. Sex (the marital act) is a gift waiting for those called to and eventually given the vocation to marriage. Sexual intercourse, as we have been talking about, is sacramental in nature. Just like Holy Orders, not everyone is called to it. Instead, it is a gift given by God to those men and women called to the one flesh union and complete self gift of love which signifies Christ’s love for His own spouse the Church. Those persons with same-sex attraction who strive for chastity daily are models for us to follow in virtue. They are full of courage, counter-cultural commitment to God and real love. They have meaningful friendships and are capable of deep, abiding love, joy and another type of fruitfulness that effects many, many lives, proclaims Gospel values and speaks the truthful language of the body.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Theology of the Body, Talk #6: Why does sex have to be reserved only for a man and woman who are married? Why can’t two engaged people who love one another and who will be married eventually have sex now? Why can’t two men or two women who love one another have sex or even be married in the eyes of the Church?
Well, as you already know, of course two people who are engaged, or two men or two women, are able to have sex together. Anyone can choose to “have sex” with someone else and they are usually capable of doing this. It’s just that the action of sex outside of marriage does harm to the persons involved since it is an action opposite of real love. Any sex outside of marriage can never be real love. The fact that this kind of “sex” does harm to persons is the reason it is morally wrong. It’s important to remember here that God does not want to oppress us humans, control us, or sadden us with this rule. Instead, he wants to love us, ensure we are loved by others, and God wants to set us free… free to love, and free to be loved properly. This is why Jesus said, “I am the truth and the truth will set you free.” (Jn 8:31, 32; 14:6; 16:13) Sex is meant for marriage since that is the only context proper for the expression of this kind of erotic love which gives itself between a man and woman alone, each one completely to the other. Remember, God is the author of men and women. He made us, male and female he created us. He also made marriage, instituting and designing it to be between a man and woman modeling The Marriage of Christ and His Bride the Church which you can read all about in Ephesians 5:21-33. God first established marriage, however, in Gen. 2:24 when He said: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two become one body.” Jesus reaffirmed and even added to that teaching in the Gospel (Matthew 19 and Mark 10) when he spelled out the nature of Christian marriage. In fact, Jesus’ entire Gospel Mission is focused on his deep love for us, his people, the Church. He calls us his bride!!! He wants to love us as his spouse. He wants to give himself and his body to us in love completely even to the point of his death. At the Last Super remember when Jesus elevated the bread and wine and said: “this is my body, take this… I give it up for you.” He also said, “this is my blood, I give it up for you.” That’s what spouses are supposed to do in sex: give up their bodies in a complete self gift of love each for the other. Like Jesus in the Eucharist, spouses are to hand themselves over completely in love to each other modeling Christ’s love for His own Bride the Church. Jesus even renounces divorce (Mt. 19; Mk 10) and asserts the “indissolubility” of marriage, which establishes that marriage ends only upon the death of one of the spouses!!! This kind of love is so great and demanding that the only thing able to end it is death itself. This great teaching then ends with Jesus saying, “What God has joined no human being must separate.” (Mk 10:9) Imagine all of these hard teachings about sex and marriage. What’s the deal?!
Really though, what is the problem with sex outside of God’s design and plan? Sexual intercourse is the defining element of marital love for the reason that it signifies a complete gift of one spouse to the other with their bodies in love for the best good of the other. (Please remember what “love” is defined as for us Christians: love is the willing, doing and giving yourself for the best good of the other. What is the best good of the other: that is Heaven! We’re called to help, will, and do everything it takes, giving ourselves in love, for the sake of helping ourselves and others get to heaven. That is why love is not selfish. That is why Christ says to us: “if you wish to find yourself, you must loose yourself for my sake. . . Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me.” (Mt 16:24-28) And, since there are different kinds of love such as friendship love, agape love, erotic love, etc… we have to focus on the “complete self gift” that erotic / marital love always demands since it is the only love proper for the “one flesh union” of two persons.)
So, getting back on track here and trying to answer the question: What is the real problem with sex outside of God’s plan and design? When sexual intercourse happens the body (person) speaks a language to the other body (person) saying: “I give my entire self to you for your best good, even my fertility, even the openness and possibility of children, I give you everything I am . . . literally, even my genetic code, my person.” The body has a language, we remember. The feminine is ordered to the masculine and the masculine is ordered to the feminine. The body of a man makes sense only in light of the body of a woman. If we look at the meaning of the body, stamped into us as men and women by God our Creator, we find the “spousal or nuptial meaning of the body.” The language of sexual intercourse points at a type of self-giving that is proper only when a man and woman are ready to give themselves each to the other completely. If there is something with-held, then the sex (and this is true even in marriage) becomes non-marital. And, if sex happens outside of a total life-long commitment, then it is already non-marital. If sex happens outside of openness to children, then it is non-marital. If sex is not faithful, then it is non-marital. Lastly, if sex is not given freely then it is non-marital. Even if a married couple decides to have sex that is not free, total, faithful or fruitful… it automatically becomes non-marital!!! Any non-marital sex does harm to the persons involved. God does not want us to harm one another. People always gasped when the late Holy Father Pope John Paul II brought this teaching into the light. He would often say that even married couples can commit adultery with one another if they are not totally, freely, faithfully and fruitfully giving themselves completely to the other in their marriage and in the things that make up their marriage, if their sexual relationship and their bodies withhold this type of giving. Wow!!! Think about that one.
The point here is that the language of the body, namely sex, can speak lies. Sex outside of marriage is a lie for the reason that it is not a total gift of one self for the best good of the other. Sex between two men or two women is a lie for the reason that it is not total, nor can it be fruitful and open to children, and it’s not faithful since there is nothing to be faithful to. Sex for an engaged couple who really love each other is a lie for the reason that it is not a total gift of life-long commitment yet, nor is it faithful for the same reason as above. All of the above examples are withholding something of the self in an automatically un-loving manner. So, when it comes to sexual morality you can simply plug in any kind of sexual behavior to the “free, total, faithful and fruitful” test of God’s plan for love and life. Let’s go through some examples of the sexual love test proper to the erotic order:
Is rape, sexual abuse, sodomy (anal sex) or incest a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is an unwanted pregnancy a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is masturbation a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is pornography a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is genital stimulation, heavy petting, foreplay, or oral sex on a date a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is sterile, contracepted sex outside of marriage or even within marriage a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is any ejaculation outside of the vagina without the bond of marriage, and even within the bond of marriage a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? No. The answer is no. (We will come back to that next-to-last issue, the issue of contraception, which in Catholic teaching is where the rubber hits the road. This issue, the Catholic Church stands against and has since the beginning, thanks God!!! When most of the world supports contracepted marital sex, we do not… let me be clear. The reason is because it simply does not model or signify Jesus’ free, total, faithful or fruitful gift of love to his spouse the Church. When a married couple has contracepted sex they withhold their fertility from each other recanting on the promise they made at their wedding which was to “be open to the blessings of children.” I will give you some personal examples in my life and testimony that affirms this teaching here and in the future. Alicia and I use the model of Natural Family Planning which always reverences and loves the person providing the ability to give ourselves completely to the other with every act of marital intercourse, sanctifying our marriage bed, and loving as God has created us to love. Remember, real love is demanding, sacrificial and real love suffers for the beloved. Only real men and real women can do this. Christ comes to help us be real men and real women. Soon, we will return to a more extensive talk on the evil of contraception.)
Now, hopefully, something inside of yourself is being “re-ordered” with a new understanding of sex, marriage and love. God’s plan, stamped into our bodies as male and female, reveals His love to us and helps us to properly love one another. Do you want to be loved? Of course you do! It’s been placed within you from the beginning. You are created for love. God has created you to receive his love and to love him in return. He has created you as a male or as a female. This love makes us free and happy. He has created you to receive love from others and give other persons real love. He wants to keep you from harm and bring you to heaven. He wants to give you happiness but only you can choose happiness since God has also given you free will. You do not have to choose God’s plan for love and life. However, when you do not it automatically brings you and those persons involved to harm whether or not you “feel” like it does. Many people who are addicted to or participating in non-marital sex can testify to this truth. All of us can sense within ourselves our deepest desire which is for love. Thus, God’s plan for sexual love is supposed to be a good, holy desire given to one’s spouse in the proper context of free, total, faithful and fruitful love to help us get to heaven. Sex, that is, is designed by God to be heavenly, to foreshadow heaven, to point us toward heaven, and eventually bring us to heaven if we love with our bodies as God has created and intended us to love.
Well, as you already know, of course two people who are engaged, or two men or two women, are able to have sex together. Anyone can choose to “have sex” with someone else and they are usually capable of doing this. It’s just that the action of sex outside of marriage does harm to the persons involved since it is an action opposite of real love. Any sex outside of marriage can never be real love. The fact that this kind of “sex” does harm to persons is the reason it is morally wrong. It’s important to remember here that God does not want to oppress us humans, control us, or sadden us with this rule. Instead, he wants to love us, ensure we are loved by others, and God wants to set us free… free to love, and free to be loved properly. This is why Jesus said, “I am the truth and the truth will set you free.” (Jn 8:31, 32; 14:6; 16:13) Sex is meant for marriage since that is the only context proper for the expression of this kind of erotic love which gives itself between a man and woman alone, each one completely to the other. Remember, God is the author of men and women. He made us, male and female he created us. He also made marriage, instituting and designing it to be between a man and woman modeling The Marriage of Christ and His Bride the Church which you can read all about in Ephesians 5:21-33. God first established marriage, however, in Gen. 2:24 when He said: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two become one body.” Jesus reaffirmed and even added to that teaching in the Gospel (Matthew 19 and Mark 10) when he spelled out the nature of Christian marriage. In fact, Jesus’ entire Gospel Mission is focused on his deep love for us, his people, the Church. He calls us his bride!!! He wants to love us as his spouse. He wants to give himself and his body to us in love completely even to the point of his death. At the Last Super remember when Jesus elevated the bread and wine and said: “this is my body, take this… I give it up for you.” He also said, “this is my blood, I give it up for you.” That’s what spouses are supposed to do in sex: give up their bodies in a complete self gift of love each for the other. Like Jesus in the Eucharist, spouses are to hand themselves over completely in love to each other modeling Christ’s love for His own Bride the Church. Jesus even renounces divorce (Mt. 19; Mk 10) and asserts the “indissolubility” of marriage, which establishes that marriage ends only upon the death of one of the spouses!!! This kind of love is so great and demanding that the only thing able to end it is death itself. This great teaching then ends with Jesus saying, “What God has joined no human being must separate.” (Mk 10:9) Imagine all of these hard teachings about sex and marriage. What’s the deal?!
Really though, what is the problem with sex outside of God’s design and plan? Sexual intercourse is the defining element of marital love for the reason that it signifies a complete gift of one spouse to the other with their bodies in love for the best good of the other. (Please remember what “love” is defined as for us Christians: love is the willing, doing and giving yourself for the best good of the other. What is the best good of the other: that is Heaven! We’re called to help, will, and do everything it takes, giving ourselves in love, for the sake of helping ourselves and others get to heaven. That is why love is not selfish. That is why Christ says to us: “if you wish to find yourself, you must loose yourself for my sake. . . Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me.” (Mt 16:24-28) And, since there are different kinds of love such as friendship love, agape love, erotic love, etc… we have to focus on the “complete self gift” that erotic / marital love always demands since it is the only love proper for the “one flesh union” of two persons.)
So, getting back on track here and trying to answer the question: What is the real problem with sex outside of God’s plan and design? When sexual intercourse happens the body (person) speaks a language to the other body (person) saying: “I give my entire self to you for your best good, even my fertility, even the openness and possibility of children, I give you everything I am . . . literally, even my genetic code, my person.” The body has a language, we remember. The feminine is ordered to the masculine and the masculine is ordered to the feminine. The body of a man makes sense only in light of the body of a woman. If we look at the meaning of the body, stamped into us as men and women by God our Creator, we find the “spousal or nuptial meaning of the body.” The language of sexual intercourse points at a type of self-giving that is proper only when a man and woman are ready to give themselves each to the other completely. If there is something with-held, then the sex (and this is true even in marriage) becomes non-marital. And, if sex happens outside of a total life-long commitment, then it is already non-marital. If sex happens outside of openness to children, then it is non-marital. If sex is not faithful, then it is non-marital. Lastly, if sex is not given freely then it is non-marital. Even if a married couple decides to have sex that is not free, total, faithful or fruitful… it automatically becomes non-marital!!! Any non-marital sex does harm to the persons involved. God does not want us to harm one another. People always gasped when the late Holy Father Pope John Paul II brought this teaching into the light. He would often say that even married couples can commit adultery with one another if they are not totally, freely, faithfully and fruitfully giving themselves completely to the other in their marriage and in the things that make up their marriage, if their sexual relationship and their bodies withhold this type of giving. Wow!!! Think about that one.
The point here is that the language of the body, namely sex, can speak lies. Sex outside of marriage is a lie for the reason that it is not a total gift of one self for the best good of the other. Sex between two men or two women is a lie for the reason that it is not total, nor can it be fruitful and open to children, and it’s not faithful since there is nothing to be faithful to. Sex for an engaged couple who really love each other is a lie for the reason that it is not a total gift of life-long commitment yet, nor is it faithful for the same reason as above. All of the above examples are withholding something of the self in an automatically un-loving manner. So, when it comes to sexual morality you can simply plug in any kind of sexual behavior to the “free, total, faithful and fruitful” test of God’s plan for love and life. Let’s go through some examples of the sexual love test proper to the erotic order:
Is rape, sexual abuse, sodomy (anal sex) or incest a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is an unwanted pregnancy a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is masturbation a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is pornography a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is genital stimulation, heavy petting, foreplay, or oral sex on a date a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is sterile, contracepted sex outside of marriage or even within marriage a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? Is any ejaculation outside of the vagina without the bond of marriage, and even within the bond of marriage a free, total, faithful and fruitful gift of love? No. The answer is no. (We will come back to that next-to-last issue, the issue of contraception, which in Catholic teaching is where the rubber hits the road. This issue, the Catholic Church stands against and has since the beginning, thanks God!!! When most of the world supports contracepted marital sex, we do not… let me be clear. The reason is because it simply does not model or signify Jesus’ free, total, faithful or fruitful gift of love to his spouse the Church. When a married couple has contracepted sex they withhold their fertility from each other recanting on the promise they made at their wedding which was to “be open to the blessings of children.” I will give you some personal examples in my life and testimony that affirms this teaching here and in the future. Alicia and I use the model of Natural Family Planning which always reverences and loves the person providing the ability to give ourselves completely to the other with every act of marital intercourse, sanctifying our marriage bed, and loving as God has created us to love. Remember, real love is demanding, sacrificial and real love suffers for the beloved. Only real men and real women can do this. Christ comes to help us be real men and real women. Soon, we will return to a more extensive talk on the evil of contraception.)
Now, hopefully, something inside of yourself is being “re-ordered” with a new understanding of sex, marriage and love. God’s plan, stamped into our bodies as male and female, reveals His love to us and helps us to properly love one another. Do you want to be loved? Of course you do! It’s been placed within you from the beginning. You are created for love. God has created you to receive his love and to love him in return. He has created you as a male or as a female. This love makes us free and happy. He has created you to receive love from others and give other persons real love. He wants to keep you from harm and bring you to heaven. He wants to give you happiness but only you can choose happiness since God has also given you free will. You do not have to choose God’s plan for love and life. However, when you do not it automatically brings you and those persons involved to harm whether or not you “feel” like it does. Many people who are addicted to or participating in non-marital sex can testify to this truth. All of us can sense within ourselves our deepest desire which is for love. Thus, God’s plan for sexual love is supposed to be a good, holy desire given to one’s spouse in the proper context of free, total, faithful and fruitful love to help us get to heaven. Sex, that is, is designed by God to be heavenly, to foreshadow heaven, to point us toward heaven, and eventually bring us to heaven if we love with our bodies as God has created and intended us to love.
Monday, January 11, 2010
THEOLOGY OF THE BODY, TALK #5: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF SEX?
We have been commentating on Pope John Paul’s work entitled: “A Theology of the Body,” which was the first major work of his Pontificate. He delivered this teaching during his Wednesday Audiences in the form of lectures over the course of five years, from 1979-84. I have shared some personal stories of my own, in addition to many examples and teachings from others including Christopher West, Jason and Christalina Evert and Mary Beth Bonacci who are all chastity speakers and apologists (one who explains the Catholic faith publicly). I have also been trying to communicate how liberating this teaching of the Theology of the Body has been for me personally as a man growing up at the end of the second millennium and the beginning of the third in this western culture. A culture filled with obstacles to purity, chastity and love on every level with few models of real men and real love. During a past blog, I did share that it wasn’t until I studied and was formed to become a Catholic Priest that I learned about manhood in the context of celibacy (a beautiful gift of God to the Church and world that is supposed to remind everyone that we will not be completely fulfilled until Heaven). A celibate priest offers himself in love to His own Bride the Church sacramentally representing the Person of Christ Head and Spouse. As I learned what it means to be a priest I had to re-learn what it means to be a man. How could I give myself fully in love like Christ, pouring Himself out in sacrifice, gift, responsibility, joy and love to His own Bride the Church even to the end, an end in death on a cross, if I didn’t know about real manhood which Christ models for us in this relationship of love? The man or womanhood that God gives us is the crown of his creation the human person whom He made in His own image, male and female He made them? Essentially, during that time in seminary, I was being prepared for God’s beautiful vocation and sacrament of marriage through the eyes of a healthy understanding of priestly celibacy, theology and identity. In studying for priesthood I was learning about marriage, sex and God’s plan for love and life by THE teacher of love and life; THE model of manhood and marriage: Jesus Christ and His Church. Today, I am married to Alicia and the fruit of our love, which is modeled on Christ’s love for His Bride the Church, (which every marriage is supposed to signify and reveal to the world) has born the fruit of Isaac, our son, among other things. I love the Catholic Priesthood, am not a priest, but have learned so much about real love, manhood and personhood by the paradigm of person’s and humanity, Jesus Christ. So, anyway, just wanted to recap a little.
Now, we are trying to answer the question: what is the meaning of sex? Many would say that sex has no meaning at all. It’s just an urge we have that we need to relieve like eating or drinking. However, even eating and drinking are oriented to a participation in the life of God, for Pope John Paul II and they always point the way to Heaven. Yup, even drinking water points to Heaven for the Pope! Eating and drinking can also lead to sin (such as gluttony, for example). We spoke of how the human body, and especially the “one flesh union” of male and female, reveals God. All of creation reveals God, we believe… mountains, sun-sets, the ocean, etc. But, the crown of God’s creation, according to the Bible in Genesis 1, is the human person. And for Pope John Paul II, the “one flesh union” reveals God too! So, a man images God. A woman images God. But, so does the one flesh union, sex that is, image God. The sexual embrace between a man and woman, in this understanding, is meant to image God and reveal Him to the world. In fact, sexual intercourse in the right context which is marriage, is meant to be a participation in the life of God, a foretaste of heaven, a prayer, worship, a sign of the Trinity, a symbol and icon of the inner life with God, a renewal and a living out of wedding vows, and an exchange of love that makes God visible to the world. Sex is also a consumation, or making complete, of the marriage itself. Sex, for the Pope, has deep and profound meaning. It’s sacred. Sex is sacred.
source: West, Christopher. Marriage and the Eucharist. Audio media. Mary Foundation. 2003.
We have been commentating on Pope John Paul’s work entitled: “A Theology of the Body,” which was the first major work of his Pontificate. He delivered this teaching during his Wednesday Audiences in the form of lectures over the course of five years, from 1979-84. I have shared some personal stories of my own, in addition to many examples and teachings from others including Christopher West, Jason and Christalina Evert and Mary Beth Bonacci who are all chastity speakers and apologists (one who explains the Catholic faith publicly). I have also been trying to communicate how liberating this teaching of the Theology of the Body has been for me personally as a man growing up at the end of the second millennium and the beginning of the third in this western culture. A culture filled with obstacles to purity, chastity and love on every level with few models of real men and real love. During a past blog, I did share that it wasn’t until I studied and was formed to become a Catholic Priest that I learned about manhood in the context of celibacy (a beautiful gift of God to the Church and world that is supposed to remind everyone that we will not be completely fulfilled until Heaven). A celibate priest offers himself in love to His own Bride the Church sacramentally representing the Person of Christ Head and Spouse. As I learned what it means to be a priest I had to re-learn what it means to be a man. How could I give myself fully in love like Christ, pouring Himself out in sacrifice, gift, responsibility, joy and love to His own Bride the Church even to the end, an end in death on a cross, if I didn’t know about real manhood which Christ models for us in this relationship of love? The man or womanhood that God gives us is the crown of his creation the human person whom He made in His own image, male and female He made them? Essentially, during that time in seminary, I was being prepared for God’s beautiful vocation and sacrament of marriage through the eyes of a healthy understanding of priestly celibacy, theology and identity. In studying for priesthood I was learning about marriage, sex and God’s plan for love and life by THE teacher of love and life; THE model of manhood and marriage: Jesus Christ and His Church. Today, I am married to Alicia and the fruit of our love, which is modeled on Christ’s love for His Bride the Church, (which every marriage is supposed to signify and reveal to the world) has born the fruit of Isaac, our son, among other things. I love the Catholic Priesthood, am not a priest, but have learned so much about real love, manhood and personhood by the paradigm of person’s and humanity, Jesus Christ. So, anyway, just wanted to recap a little.
Now, we are trying to answer the question: what is the meaning of sex? Many would say that sex has no meaning at all. It’s just an urge we have that we need to relieve like eating or drinking. However, even eating and drinking are oriented to a participation in the life of God, for Pope John Paul II and they always point the way to Heaven. Yup, even drinking water points to Heaven for the Pope! Eating and drinking can also lead to sin (such as gluttony, for example). We spoke of how the human body, and especially the “one flesh union” of male and female, reveals God. All of creation reveals God, we believe… mountains, sun-sets, the ocean, etc. But, the crown of God’s creation, according to the Bible in Genesis 1, is the human person. And for Pope John Paul II, the “one flesh union” reveals God too! So, a man images God. A woman images God. But, so does the one flesh union, sex that is, image God. The sexual embrace between a man and woman, in this understanding, is meant to image God and reveal Him to the world. In fact, sexual intercourse in the right context which is marriage, is meant to be a participation in the life of God, a foretaste of heaven, a prayer, worship, a sign of the Trinity, a symbol and icon of the inner life with God, a renewal and a living out of wedding vows, and an exchange of love that makes God visible to the world. Sex is also a consumation, or making complete, of the marriage itself. Sex, for the Pope, has deep and profound meaning. It’s sacred. Sex is sacred.
source: West, Christopher. Marriage and the Eucharist. Audio media. Mary Foundation. 2003.
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